e-Nagar

June 25, 2005

i wish to be 8 again :)

Filed under: Humor — Ankur Aggarwal @ 12:01 pm

A man asked his wife what she’d like for her birthday. “I’d love to
be eight again.” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, every thing there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald’s where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, and her favorite lolly and M&M’s. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?” Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. “I meant my dress size!!!!!!!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he’s gonna get
it wrong.

Siachin Glacier ( useless sacrifice)

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 11:54 am

The beauty of the region was that when the Shimla agreement LOC was drawn, armies on both side thought it would be ridiculous to draw and monitor a front there. The area is inhospitable round the year and hence no question of a dispute. Like most glaciers, high unfathomable mountains, this area was also not divided.

Pakistan started promoting it as a tourist destination and tons of tourist started coming there (from the Pakistan side) in search of virgin ice. None of the forces from both the sides were having bases. It was widely accepted that the terrain was too dangerous for any infiltration/smuggling. Some tribal/ shepherds from the Indian side spotted the tourists and reported their presence to Indian army which immediately sends patrol parties to the glacier. The tourists reported the army presence to the Pak rangers and the militarization started.

Now this frozen desert has become a major prestige issue, both sides proudly proclaim it to be the highest battle-field. Well battles should be like flash floods… you come and you should sweep/conquer and not the ones we are fighting. The only people who lose are the faceless soldiers who get killed in hundreds each year on both sides… not due to shelling, but due to the terrain/ avalanches.

wait in the queue

Filed under: Humor — Ankur Aggarwal @ 10:12 am

I was at Denver airport last weekend on transit when returning to
California. Another crowded United Airlines flight (it was the Memorial
weekend) was canceled. A single agent was re-booking a long line of
inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the
desk. He slapped his ticket on the counter and said “I HAVE to be on this
flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS.”

The agent replied, “I am sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but,
I’ve got to help these folks first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work
something out.” The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the
passengers behind him could hear, “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?”

Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address
microphone, “May I have your attention please” she began, her voice heard
clearly throughout the terminal. “We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO
DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please
come to Gate 14.”

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at
the United agent, gritted his teeth and swore “F*** You!”. Without
flinching, she smiled and said, I’m sorry sir, you’ll have to get in line
for that too.”

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