e-Nagar

July 15, 2005

one liners

Filed under: Humor — Ankur Aggarwal @ 11:08 am

Why did God make man before he made woman? Because He didn’t want anyone telling him how!

**************

A businessman returned to his parked car to find the headlights broken and the front end smashed. Stuck under the windshield wiper was a note which read, “I just backed into your car. The people who saw me do it are nodding in approval because they think I’m writing down my name and insurance carrier. But I’m not!”

July 13, 2005

Slums: (The Janta Colony)

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 1:43 pm

Is the state the owner of ‘public’ land? Or does it hold the land in trust to be used for constitutionally appropriate purposes?

Slums, in common parlance, are settlements where the urban poor live. Epithets such as ‘squatters’ and ‘encroachers’, and attributes such as ‘illegality’ and ‘ineligibility’ characterise perceptions about the lives and habitations of slum dwellers. While casting the slum dwellers into a stereotype, dirt, criminality, pilferage and their abetment of slumlords to seize public lands for unconscionable gain, are most routinely caricatured. These are the descriptions imposed on slum dwellers by those who do not live in their midst

The other perception is that it is the area of the service providers, the migrant labor who help in building and running the city. They plan the entire construction of the city but their needs and residence was not taken into account when the city was getting constructed.

In law, a ‘slum’ is something else. A ‘slum area’ is “any area (where) buildings in that area:
(a) are in any respect unfit for human habitation; or
(b) are by reason of dilapidation, overcrowding, faulty arrangement and design of such buildings, narrowness or faulty arrangement of streets, lack of ventilation, light or sanitation facilities, or any combination of these factors, detrimental to safety, health or morals”, once it is so notified in the official gazette. The mere existence of these characteristics will not do; it has to be notified to be a slum area.

If it is unfit for human settlement then reports about the testing, repairs, stability has to be prepared with details about the dampness, natural light, fresh air/ventilation, water supply, drainage and sanitation, facility for storage, preparation and cooking of food and disposal of waste (both solid and water).

There is a Slum Areas (Improvement and Clearance) Act, 1956 to deal with the slums. It has provisions for clearing the slum land and protection of the tenants. However most of the benefits and provisions are for the slums which are basically old settlement when city planning was not that popular and hence cannot be extended to modern slums which are basically encroachment on public land.

Then there is 138th report of the Law commission of India 1990 dealing with the pavement dwellers and encroachers. It provides for the re-induction of the tenant after repair, refurbishment or reconstruction of the dilapidated or dangerous structure.

Most chawls are privately held or are leased out. The owner operates them for sheer profit and is not interested in providing for the basic amenities giving rise to disease and epidemics. A friend rightly said that PG (paying guests in Bangalore are no better even though they charge 3k p.m.)

In 1990 35 million citizens lived in slums and quite often their structures were razed to the ground without offering them any alternative. The evictees include women and children who have no where to go.

It’s ironical that the urban poor have no access to Ration Card India’s PDS. What use of the scheme which caters to the poor and BPL people but not the slum dwellers. Authorities cite that these cards have repeatedly been used to get the ‘free for use’ land legalized. Net result the municipality ignores their presence rather than doing the duty of providing sanitation, water, electricity.

An interesting development in Delhi happened. MCD needed land for garbage disposal and landfills. The land in Delhi is owned by DDA and it asked for 40Lakhs per acre (market rate). The court intervened and said it was the duty for the Delhi govt. to have adequate landfills immaterial of who pays the price. Within 2 weeks such sites were identified and transferred without a single penny exchanging hands.

The ability of the govt. to make accommodation for the residents has become a function of their paying capacity. They often state lack of funds for relocation when it comes to slums, but still have sufficient funds to construct multi-storied apartments, tech parks (which they are unable to sell anyways) According to the 10th plan 90% of the urban housing shortage is due to the slums. The reasons it cited were
1) High cost of land.
2) Non availability of credit/funds.
3) Lack of implementation of the suggestion of cross-subsidization of the affluent constructions and commercial property to provide economical housing.

Demolition is used more for political motives, demonstration of state power, and are illegal in accordance to ICESER and does not serve the dream of housing for all. To fulfill the promise of enabling citizens live in security, peace and dignity, facilities must be created to provide legal security of tenure, availability of services, materials, facilities and infrastructure, affordability, habitability, accessibility, location and cultural adequacy for the lower income groups (bottom of the pyramid)

Even when relocation is provided for, as in the case of Delhi 2004, the allotment was as individual land instead of buildings, even though govt. clearly knows that more people can be accommodated in a building rather than individual strips of land (which by the way was little bigger than a double bed which we people sleep on) The site was 25 kms. Away for the place of employment and hence rendered them unemployed.

Eviction does not make the BPL vaporize, they just move to another site waiting for another eviction order.

July 12, 2005

Corruption … cont….

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 5:05 pm

“In India I have seen business getting bankrupt resulting people losing their savings and investment and banks going bust. However I am still not able to find a business house going bankrupt.”

There are two basic levels of corruption.
a) Which the TT in the train, the babu in the office asks. This form basically leads to inconvenience and some level of frustration and is a predominant feature of public offices and govt. Privatization, better public awareness would be the best solution to it.
b) The high level corruption where the management is directly involved:
a. Tax evasion.
b. Under-reporting of income and over-stating of expenses.
c. Use of corporate/govt. funds for personal uses.
d. Asking and accepting a cut/ commission or gifts for actions which are part of your duty in office.

A govt has a written set of rules, regulation, processes and norms which makes it hard for a person to conduct them without the world knowing about you. The “right to Information bill” which the bureaucracy is trying to halt will actually help people unearth tons of skeletons in the govt. books.

I was looking at the origin of bureaucracy, and to my surprise its introduction was a welcome move in 19th century. With it came processes, standards, accountability, practices and made the officials answerable to the higher-ups. A drastic reduction of wasteful expenditure and manmani and better utilization of funds resulted. After morphing for 2 centuries India has come to a state where govt suffers because it has too much of it and pvt. Sector suffers for they do not have any.

Private sector has reached to a stage where corruption esp. the higher level one is omnipresent. Business houses are sitting on top of huge black money reserves and funds which cannot be profitably deployed because of their dubious origins. The 4 subcategory of corruption are socially acceptable in current society and they are considered a part of the perks which the management is entitled to. In case of small privately held enterprises it just results in loss for the govt, but when large corporations do it they simply rob the shareholders trust and investments.

Corruption

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 4:16 pm

When this name arrives, the typical image of a govt. babu. However corruption in India is more deep rooted than that and pvt. Sector is also not spared.
1) Tax evasion.
2) Under-reporting of income and over-stating of expenses.
3) Use of corporate/govt. funds for personal uses.
4) Demanding Speed money or other forms of extortion and red-tapism.
5) Asking and accepting a cut/ commission or gifts for actions which are part of your duty in office.

Regarding corruption in govt offices, I must say that in the current scenario, society has started treating “Upar ki Kamai” as a part of the legitimate income an employee is entitled to. No matter how many checks, inspectors, audits and transparency you introduce, the fertile Indian mind will always find a way out.

The punishment for the corrupt cannot be in court but by banishing them. The society has to stop electing corrupt Netas and desert corrupt people. Do not look them as rich fellows but as termites in the neighborhood.

July 8, 2005

psychology test

Filed under: Miscellaneous — Ankur Aggarwal @ 5:18 pm

Take a piece of paper and write down the answers.. The analysis is in the end….it is worth trying…

Situation:
You are in a deep deep forest… as you walk on you saw an old hut standing there
(1) What is the status of the door?
(Opened/closed)

You enter the hut and see a table…
(2) What is the shape of the table?
(Round/Oval/Square/Rectangle/Triangle)

On top of the table there is a vase… in the vase there is water.
(3) How much water is it filled up with?
(Full/Half/Empty)

(4) and what is the vase made of?
[(Glass/porcelain/clay)(metal/plastic/wood)]

You walk out of the hut… as you carry on your walk in the forest… you see a waterfall from far… there is water running down…

(5) What is the speed of the water?
(Choose a number ranging from 0 to 10)

Some time after the waterfall… you step on something hard on the
ground… as you look down… you see glistening gold in colors. You bend down and pick it up… it is a keychain chained with keys…

(6) How many key /keys you see hanging on the keychain?
(Choose a number ranging from 1 to 10)

You walk on and on… trying to find your way out…suddenly you see a
castle.

(7) What is the condition of the castle?
(Old/new)

You enter the castle and saw a pool of murky water with shining jewels
floating on it…
(8) Will you pick up the jewel?
(YES/NO)

Next to the murky pool… there’s another pool… with clear water and
money floating on it…

(9) Will you pick the money?
(YES/NO)

Walking to the end of the castle there is an exit…you proceed to walk out of the castle. Outside the exit, there is big garden; you see a box on the ground.

(10) What is the size of the box?
(small/medium/big)

(11) What is the material of the box?
(cardboard/paper/wooden/metal)

There is a bridge in the garden some distance away from the box,
(12) What is the bridge made of?
(metal/wooden/rattan)

Across the bridge, there is a horse.
(13) What is the colour of the horse?
(white/grey/brown/black)

(14) What is the horse doing?
(still and quiet/nibbling grass/running about)

OH NO!!! There is a tornado coming… some distance from the horse. You
have 3 options:
(i) run and hide in the box?
(ii) run and hide under the bridge?
(iii) run to the horse, ride on and gallop away?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here are the interpretations:
(1) The door:
opened door – you are a person who is willing to share
closed door – you are a person who is keeping things to yourself

(2) The table:
Round/oval – any friends that came along, you will
accept and trust them completely
Square/rectangle – you are a bit more choosy on
friends and only hangout with those whom you think are
on the same frequency
Triangle – you are really very very picky about
friends and there are not many friends in your life

(3) Water in vase:
Empty – your life is not fulfilled
Half filled – what you want in your life is half fulfilled
Full – your life is completely fulfilled and good for
you! :)

(4) Material of vase:
glass/clay/porcelain – you are weak in your life and tends to be fragile
metal/plastic/wood – you are strong in your life

(5) Flow of waterfall:
0 – no love for your partner at all
1 to 4 – less love
5 – average love
6 to 9 – high love
10 – gone case!!! You are totally mad about your partner!!! Can’t live
without him/her…

(6) Keys:
1 – you have one good friend in your life
2 to 5 – you have a few good friends in your life
6 to 10 – you have a lot good friends

(7) Castle:
Old – shows that your last relationship is not a good
one and is not memorable to you.
New – your last relationship is good and it’s still
fresh in your heart.

(8) The jewel from the murky pool water:
YES – when your partner is around you, you will flirt
around with others.
NO – when your partner is around, you will stick
around with him/her most of the time.

(9) The money from the clear water pool:
YES – even when your partner is not around you, you
will still flirt around with others.
NO – even when your partner is not around, you will
still think of her and will be loyal to her, not
flirting around with others.

(10) The size of the box:
small – low ego
medium – average ego
big – high ego

(11) Material of the box (outlook of the box):
cardboard/paper/wooden(non-shining) – humble personality
metal – proud and stuck up personality

(12) The material of the bridge:
metal bridge – have very strong bond with your friends
wooden bridge – average bond with your friends
rattan bridge – you are not in good terms with your friends

(13) Colour of the horse:
white – your partner is pure and good in your heart.
grey/brown – your partner is only average in your heart.
black – your partner doesn’t seem to be good in your heart and appears to be bad sign.

(14) Horse action:
still and quiet/nibbling grass – your partner is a very homely and humble person.
running about – your partner is a wild type person.

This the last but most important part of the test.
From how I ended the story… a tornado approaches…
What are you going do? There are only 3 options:
(i) run and hide in the box?
(ii) run and hide under the bridge?
(iii) run to the horse, ride on and gallop away?

What will you choose?
Now, the above is signified by these things:
tornado – problems in your life
box – you
bridge – your friends
horse – your partner

(i) So if you choose the box, you keep your problems to yourself whenever you are met with problems.
(ii) or if you choose the bridge, you will go to your friends whenever you are in problems.
(iii) or lastly if you choose the horse, you seek your partner whenever
your partner whenever you are met with problems.

July 6, 2005

Windows error messages.

Filed under: Humor — Ankur Aggarwal @ 12:17 pm

Explanation of Microsoft computer messages

It says: “Press Any Key”
It means: “Press any key you like but I’m not moving.”

It says: “Press A Key”
(This one’s a programmers joke. Nothing happens unless you press the “A” key.)

It says: “Fatal Error. Please contact technical support quoting error
no. 1A4-2546512430E” It means: “… where you will be kept on hold for 10 minutes, only to be told that it’s a hardware problem.”

It says: “Installing program to C:\….”
It means: “… And I’ll also be writing a few files into c:\windows and c:\windows\system where you’ll NEVER find them.”

It says: “Please insert disk 11″
It means: “Because I know darn well there are only 10 disks.”

It says: “Not enough memory”
It means: “I don’t CARE if you’ve got 64MB of RAM, I want to use the bit below 640K.”

It says: “Cannot read from drive D:….”
It means: “… However, if you put the CD in correct side up…”

It says: “Please Wait….”
It means: “… Indefinitely.”

It says: “Directory does not exist….”
It means: “…. any more. Whoops.”

It says: “The application caused an error. Choose Ignore or Close.”
It means: “…. Makes no difference to me, you’re still not getting your work back.”

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