e-Nagar

I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you’ve come into my life…
I’ve changed my mind.

—-
I must admit, you brought religion into my life…
- I never believed in Hell until I met you.
—-

As the days go by, I think how lucky I am….
That you’re not here to ruin it for me .
—-

Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go….
Will you take the knife from my back? You’ll probably need it again.
—-

Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….
Almost lifelike!
—-

When we were together, you said you’d die for me…
- Now we’ve broken up, I think it’s time to keep your promise.
—-

Congratulations on your new bundle of joy….
- Did you ever find out who the father was?
—-

You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket…
- I’d miss you terribly and think of you often .
—-

Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday…
So we’re having you put to sleep.
—-

Looking back over the years that we have been together, I can’t help but wonder…..
What the hell was I thinking
—-

I’m so miserable without you…
It’s almost like you’re still here.
—-

Thank you for being part of my life….
I never knew what evil was until I met you!
—-

Congratulations on your wedding day!…
Too bad no one likes your husband.
—-

How can I say this….
Your cooking kills me
—-

Hooray…..
- You’re divorced.
—-

I just want you to know that I’m sorry for what happened…
- Especially since you survived.
—-

Congrats on getting married…
It’s not everyday you decide to ruin your life.
—-

Someday I hope to marry…
Someone other than you.
—-

We have been friends for a very long time…
What do you say we stop?

If raising children was meant to be easy, would it begin with something called “labor?!”

After his divorce Mr. Lewis realized that poker isn’t the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with an astounding financial loss.

He grabbed me by my slender neck;
I could not even scream.
He dragged me to a dingy room,
where we could not be seen.

He stripped me of my flimsy wrap
and gazed upon my form.
I was cold, damp and scared
while he was sweaty and warm.

He pressed his feverish lips to mine;
I could not make him stop.
He drained me of my very self,
taking every drop.

He made me what I am today.
That’s why you see me here.
An empty bottle thrown away,
that once was full of beer.

When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i’ll take u to an eye specialist !!
———————————————————
January to december
sunday to saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed…….
u….
R….
always….
a HEADACHE to me !!!!
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If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage
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During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the
horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.
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I wrote ur name on the sands………….
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air……………………..
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart………….

i got a HEART ATTACK
—————————————————————
LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire….. continues with smoke…..and ends in ashes…
——————————————————————-
ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best
——————————————————————–
True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow
——————————————————————-
Dear Friend,

when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock

ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
—————————————————————
when i call u;
1 ring means i’m thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ………pick d phone idiot
——————————————————————
The human brain is most outstanding thing…….
it functions 24hrs 365 days…..
it functions right from the time u r Born….until you fall in love
———————————————————————
SMILE – is a language of love
SMILE – is a source to win hearts…
SMILE – creates greatness in ur personality
SO….
Brush ur Teeth today onwards
——————————————————————–
A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..
———————————————————————
History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26 sir….

It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro
Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history.

“Who said ‘Give me Liberty, or give me Death’?”

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up.
“Patrick Henry, 1775.”

“Very good!” apprised the teacher. “Now, who said,
“Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not
perish from the earth?”

Again, no response except from Pedro: “Abraham Lincoln, 1863.”

The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed!

Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its’ history than you do!”
She heard a loud whisper: “Screw the Mexicans!”

“Who said that?” she demanded.

Pedro put his hand up. “Jim Bowie, 1836.”

At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke.”

The teacher glared and asked, “All right! Now, who said that?”

Again, Pedro “George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991.”

Now furious, another student yelled, “Oh yeah? Suck this!”

Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher,

“Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!”

Now, with almost mob hysteria, teacher said, “You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you!”

Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, “Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001.”

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said,
“Oh shit, we’re in BIG trouble now!”

Pedro whispered, “Saddam Hussein, 2003.”