e-Nagar

July 24, 2006

invention

Filed under: Humor — Ankur Aggarwal @ 10:54 am

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates, St. Peter greets Ford, and tells him, ”Well, you’ve been such a good guy, and your invention … the assembly line for the automobile changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone in Heaven you want.” Ford thinks to himself about it, and says, ”I want to hang out with God Himself.”

The befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne Room, and introduces him to God. Ford then asks God, ”When you invented Woman, what were you thinking?” God asks, ”What do you mean?” ”Well,” says Ford, ”You have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There’s too much front end protusion.
2. It chatters way too much at high speeds.
3. Maintenance is extremely high.
4. It constantly need repainting, and refinishing.
5. It is out of commission at least 5 or 6 of every 28 days.
6. The rear end wobbles too much.
7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.
8. The headlights are usually too small.
9. fuel consumption is outrageous.

…just to name a few.” ”Hmmm …,” replies God, ”Hold on a minute.” God goes over to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. In no time the computer prints out a report, and God reads it. God then turns to Ford, and says, ”It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to these statistics, more men are riding my invention than yours.”

-courtsey Sid

July 22, 2006

Open Office

Filed under: News — Ankur Aggarwal @ 3:34 am

I always thought the major strength of Microsoft is not its dumb operating system, but Microsoft office.

Imagine this, most users of modern computers are not programmers who wants to understand, configure and customize every tool, or software they use. Most of them are housewives, office goes and simple public who just want a medium to communicate, a typewriter, and ability to create/read/store documents and reports.

Microsoft office came with a revolutionary concept of interoperability. The spreadsheets could be imported to the word document. The email client, powerpoint, text editor and pictures all were integrated together as if it was one program. This synergy was what made Microsoft different. OS is dumb, you use it only when you want to start, stop the machine or program. Its the individual programs where one spends most of the time. Microsoft realized it early and ensured that one will not have to re key any data again.

The reason why microsoft allows (and even secretly encourage) people ridiculing their OS, is because to create a false front where all the opposition will be targeted (plus it is a great for the publicity) while protecting its core (office and other non-OS software)

if open office is successful, I am sure it will be single largest blow to microsoft revenue and monoply.
PS: since I did not find any Bangalore based distributor of open office, I thought of contributing a little to the open source community. Anybody who wants a copy of open office CD can use my CD writter for free.

July 21, 2006

dilbert

Filed under: Cartoons — Ankur Aggarwal @ 8:09 am

July 20, 2006

brain teaser (tough)

Filed under: Puzzle — Ankur Aggarwal @ 8:00 am

Seven letters are we,
Four different words we make.
Guess us or be ridiculed;
Your reputation’s at stake.

The first has pictures,
Paintings and such.
The second causes sneezing,
From ragweed or dust.
The third is an adverb,
It’s hard to explain
It’s the same as immensely
But it’s much more plain.
If you can act like a king,
this word you will sing.

These clues are sparse
This riddle may be tough.
But if you are smart
Then it will be enough.

half drunk

Filed under: Humor — Ankur Aggarwal @ 7:56 am

“What do you mean, coming home half-drunk?!” she yelled.

He mumbled back, “It’s not my fault. I ran out of money!”

July 18, 2006

Moslem or Muslim

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 6:31 pm

All the old books on crusades talk about Moslem, while modern world seem to be stuck on Muslim. So I did a bit of etymology on it (googled in actual sense)
Derived from the urdu word Zalem (the oppresser), Christians coined the word Moslem which was later on modified to Muslim. What is strange that I never heard of this theory of Zalem being the root word for Muslim in any of the RSS propoganda.

Similarly, Hindustan, India etc got their name derived from Sindh and means the inhabitants of the banks of Indus. Indus river is miles away from the borders of India, but the name is stuck. Similarly Zalem has no bearing on the nature of Modern muslims.

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