A little boy runs across this farmer who has a truckload of cow
manure. The boy asks him what he is going to do with all that cow
poop. The farmer tells the little boy, ”I’m taking it home to put on
my strawberries.”
The little boy looks up at the farmer and says, ”I don’t know where
you come from, but where I come from we put cream and sugar on our
strawberries.”
********
and where I come from I put it on my potatoes 
)
Everytime I pay a tax, I also pay a huge educational cess…. this sum was promised to be used in spreading education to the country’s 1/3 of the population which cannot read or write.
But here is the ground reality
Since the situation has not improved since 2004-2005 and has only worsen since then…. Where did my money go?
Don’t tell me it went in creating new IITs, IIMs, or AIIMS with the sole purpose is to create an army of professionals who would pay taxes and help US Government reduce its Social Security deficit. Because… we have not created a new one either in the past couple of decades.
Recently Central Bank’s IPO was open for subscription and it left me really puzzled. On one hand it was getting very heavy subscription (which usually means there is going to be a good listing gains) and on the other hand i had some reservations about its valuations. (which i felt was too steep)
So this morning I was reading the bank’s prospectus and this line caught my attention:
“PROMOTER: The President of India acting through MoF, GoI”
Guess what was the next thing I did?
If you consider that there has been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq Theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000.
The firearms death rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000.
That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in our Nation’s Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq.
Conclusion: We should immediately pull out of Washington D.C.
—-
what do a lawyer and sperm have in common ?
A one in a three million chance of becoming a human being !
A young guy from Alberta moves to Vancouver and goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?”
The kid says “Yeah. I was a salesman back in Alberta .”
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. “How many customers bought something from you today?
The kid says “one”.
The boss says “Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?”
The kid says “$101,237.65″.
The boss says “$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?”
The kid says, “First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.
Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4×4 Expedition.”
The boss said “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?”
The kid said “No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, “Dude, your weekend’s shot. You should go fishing.”
- Source
—-
Wife: “Let’s go out tonight and have some fun.”
Husband: “Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the light on for me!”
Last week I wrote a harsh letter to ICICI bank (after breaking my head for 4 months). Few of my friends were facing the similar problem (with the same ICICI Branch). Here is how he dealt with it and manage to get the debit card in 24 hours flat:
Sir,
I hope that you will be able to carve out ten minutes out of your time and read this mail. I understand you are a busy person but I assure you that the reason this mail is sent out to you is because I am, quite frankly, at the end of my tether. It’s quite a pity that despite my numerous complaints and phone calls, ICICI bank’s customer service has failed to take any action. Finally, I am left with no choice but send this mail to you – a copy of which I have forwarded to other parties (please see footnote).
I happen to own – and I use that word very loosely, a ICICI bank account. My account number is XXXXXXXXXX and it is opened at ICICI Bank – Bangalore (IndiraNagar branch).
From a customer’s perspective, my experience with ICICI Bank has been a terrible one. Here is the timeline of events:
24th February 2007
: Applied for a ICICI account. Informed that it will be opened in a week and debit card dispatched in ten days.2nd March 2007
: Contact customer service for the first time. Told Debit Card and Cheque book will be “delivered in five working days”.3rd March 2007
: Account is opened and am asked to deposit at least Rs. 5000/- as a minimum balance failing which I will be penalized.8th March 2007
: Required amount deposited in ICICI account through e-transfer from my Citibank account. Rs. 111.00 deducted from my account towards “Debit Card charges “. Debit card and cheque book still not arrived.9th March 2007
: Contact Customer Service for the second time. Told that Debit Card is dispatched and will reach in three days.13th March 2007
: Contact Customer Service for the third time. Told that Debit Card was undelivered because room was locked. Notified Customer Care that since I am a working professional, my house will be locked from 10am to 7pm on all weekdays, so ask courier person to call me when he arrives since my place of work is five minutes away from my residence. Request noted and duly ignored.Customer Service informs me that debit card will be sent again for the second time and process might take a while.
4th April 2007
: Make several attempts to contact customer care. Kept on hold and then call disconnected.13th April 2007
: One month from time of last contact with Customer Care. Debit Card and Cheque Book still not arrived.14th April 2007
: Contact Customer Service for the fourth time. Informed that Debit Card and Cheque Book is in ICICI, Indira Nagar branch. Apparently, it has been there for the last one month and no information was sent to me. Asked to collect the same from there. Request delivery to address. Request denied.16th April 2007
: Visit ICICI, Indira Nagar. Made to wait for one hour and then informed that my Debit Card and Cheque book is NOT in the branch’s custody. I ask teller to cross-check with Customer Service. Request denied.Note: Cash is locked in ICICI account. Attempt to e-transfer money out of ICICI account only to discover that debit card grid numbers are needed. All modes of cash transfer out of account (Cheque Book/ Debit Card/ E-transfer) are disabled for me . Told that if I wish to use withdrawal slip at bank, service charge will be added.
17th April 2007
: Contact Customer Service for the fifth time. Confirms that Debit Card and Cheque book are in ICICI Indiranagar. Ask for complaint to be escalated. Talk to Mr. XXXXXX – Customer Service Manager. He informs me that problem will be looked into and takes my phone number. Confirms he will call me back in 48 hours. Requests me to check in ICICI, Indiranagar one more time.20th April 2007
: Visit ICICI, IndiraNagar for the second time. Debit card and Cheque book not in bank’s custody. No call from Mr. Rakesh.4th May 2007
: Two months since account is opened and debit card charge deducted. No delivery or contact yet from ICICI.Initially, I was the under the impression that this was gross stupidity at work by “ICICI – Hum Hain Na”. However, now I am inclined to believe that ICICI Bank targets professionals in this fraud by deducting debit card charges from new customers and asking courier services to visit their residence during normal working hours. After two attempts, the card is destroyed and the charges pocketed.
As I understand it, ICICI is well known for committing such frauds and for it’s shoddy customer service. A simple google search with the terms ” ICICI bank terrible” yields close to thirty thousand results.It ‘s a matter of great shame that dedicated websites exist to redress our issues with ICICI.
As a manager higher up in the ladder, it amazes me that you have done little to quell this general public opinion about your bank, other than of course, using Shah Rukh Khan to spout corny lines like “Hum Hain Na”. It is saddening to note that Mr. Khan is getting his name sullied in the bargain. I regret that I am currently considering legal action against ICICI bank and hence am forwarding a copy of this mail to several other interested parties.
Please do note that I will not be sending any further emails, filling out any online customer service forms or visiting any of your bank branches.
Yours sincerely,
XXXBCC
: Copy to Mr. K.V Kamath
: Copy to Newsdesk – CNN-IBN
: Copy to Citizen Journalist contact – Tehelka
: Copy to Consumer Court [at] netfirms [dot] com
: Copy to XXXXXXXX – Journalist, Economic Times – Bangalore.
: Copy to Ombudsman, Reserve Bank of India.
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