Recipe for impressing a woman:
Wine her, Dine her, Call her, Hug her, Support her, Hold her, Surprise her, Compliment her, Smile at her, Listen to her, Laugh with her, Cry with her, Romance her, Encourage her, Believe in her, Pray with her, Pray for her, Cuddle with her, Shop with her, Give her jewelry, Buy her flowers, Hold her hand, Write love letters to her, Go to the end of the Earth and back again for her.
Just imagine substituting “him” for “her” in this passage, and telling women to do it. “I want to be his girlfriend, not his slave” would be a reasonable response.
What is Robin’s lesson? Men take a lot of abuse in our society, but rarely complain about it. Why not? Because when men complain, they look weak and get mocked.
Paranoid? Consider: You hear that a woman’s husband is cheating on her. Your likely reaction: Sympathy. OK, what if you hear that a man’s wife is cheating on him? Your likely reaction: Poorly suppressed laughter.
Similarly, how do you react when you hear that a man’s wife “won’t let him” do something? “Ha ha, he’s whipped.” What if you heard that a woman’s husband “won’t let her” do something? “How awful – how can she live like that?”
We usually think that people who complain have a raw deal. What Robin points out, though, is that the people with the rawest deals don’t complain because the world won’t listen.
yesterday you two were fighting about gender supremacy.. and today the mood looks totally different.
actions speak louder than words…
Comment by Ankur — July 12, 2007 @ 5:49 pm
Nitin !
)
yeah…this guy IS talking abt some conspiracy !
Bash him as much as u like
Comment by sree — July 12, 2007 @ 6:09 pm
nitin… beware….
an evil ’smooth operator’ is trying to disrupt the peace and harmony of this post
Comment by Ankur — July 12, 2007 @ 6:20 pm
You guys are crazy ah..
cool then..i want to knw is there anything called blog friends?
We can be if u like..
Comment by nitin — July 12, 2007 @ 6:27 pm
@nitin..
welcome to the group
Comment by Ankur — July 12, 2007 @ 6:31 pm
an evil ’smooth operator’ is trying to disrupt the peace and harmony //
make up ur mind , man ! its either ur presence or its peace and harmony
@Nitin
We can be if u like..//
ofcourse , Nitin
Comment by sree — July 12, 2007 @ 8:13 pm
@ nitin,
I ask you if u have a boyfriend/husband and if he follows any of my 12 points whether genuinely or purposely ,it will make u happy..
No, it won’t make me happy. Let me counter all the points that you made:
1)flowers wid bushes
Pretty, yes. But a waste of money in the long run. (Sorry, baniya mentality
)
2)small gifts at regular intervals.
No need. My love doesn’t depend upon small gifts. The guy’s behavior is much more imp. This just means that even if the guy has been a jerk and he comes for a date with some flowers, I should melt into his arms.
3)calling them at regular intervals,failing which all previous efforts will become.
Please…All I’ll have to tell the guy is “Go get a life and let me live mine.” If I need someone to lean on all the time, then I need to see a shrink.
bullshit.(This is called true maintainence )… Agree….no need to call regularly “by force”. If you really call out of the blue just to tell me that you miss me, I’ll appreciate it more
4)Avoid staring at other babes
Well..no. People are polygamous by nature. Just because we are going around doesn’t mean that we should stop admiring other people too. I will stare at other guys too if I find them hot. So, the guy can stare at some other babe too. But I would appreciate it if he didn’t do it on the first date.
5)false praises of small things of her
NO WAY! That just means that the guy doesn’t like me in reality…I would see through it anyway.
6)A surprise romantic gift will be her dream ,give it a shot!
Good. But don’t do it to impress me or to say sorry for something else.SHOW ME that you are sorry by reversing it or by never repeating it instead of buying me a gift.
7)Help in shopping,
Guys are a pain in the ass when I go for shopping with them. I prefer leaving them at home.
8)talk abt dogs,puppies and say u love kittens..
No way…Bores me to death.
9)just take her to Sharukh khan /romantic movies
Dislike him totally…and the genre of romantic movies…they are so unrealistic.
10)sleep after she is asleep
Whoa! Nothing of that sort…sleep when you are sleepy..
11)Drink in a way ,so that she can never find abt it(depends abt woman to woman)
I prefer knowing that the guy is drunk, so that I can stay away
11)watch sas bahu..u win her at that instant…100 per “Ram Ban”.
Yuck!!! Any girl who likes those serials must get a mental check up.
12)get emotional
e.g she “do u knw my friend Nisha had a brk up”.
He” Oh my god…i feel sorry abt her…how terrible she may be feeling…lets meet her consle her.Hope it never happen to us” Stuffs like these will definetly make u MATURED PERSON.
Nothing of that sort…I don’t like gossiping about other people.
Sorry for such a long comment.
u getting it.?the above behavious is always a delight for a women.otherwise she is not a women.!!!
So, am I not a woman?
Sorry, I feel like taking potshots at your comment.
Comment by ruhi — July 13, 2007 @ 12:16 am
@ankur,
[I cannot find any of your comments in the moderated comments list.. so can you kindly retype it for me….]
Thought so for a moment when my comment didn’t appear. Sorry!
[I would object that…. I try the following 4 things.. and I never had any regrets.
1) be yourself.. the more you would like to alter yourself to put up a show the less desirable you become.
2) there are lots of things she always wanted to do/say or experience but could never do… listen to her and give her opportunity to express herself and fulfill them…
3) crack jokes and always maintain a smile.
4) tell her what you truly and honestly feel.]
The points that you make here are different from Nitin’s
#1 doesn’t fail any guy..I agree. Pretending doesn’t earn you any points.
#2. Yes, it’s good if you are ‘genuinely’ interested in listening. But PLEASE don’t listen just for the sake of it
We can even talk to our female friends you know? 
I think this point applies to guys too. Even guys like talking about stuff they wouldnt be dead caught talking with their male friends.
#3. NOOOOOO! I don’t want a ‘fun loving guy who always makes me laugh’. You must have seen this line in thousands of matrimonial profiles. A guy saying that he is ‘fun loving and humorous’ results in immediate disqualification. Also,on a side note, any guy posing for pictures with his car also gets disqualified from my potential bf list.
#4. I agree
We would love to hear what you genuinely feel…like I said.
[i have tried that n number of times, but the problem is that if you go and approach a stranger… she becomes defensive and starts thinking “why is he talking to me?”
]
Really? Hmm..weird. I don’t think there is anything more flattering that a guy just walking up to me and introducing himself.
Comment by ruhi — July 13, 2007 @ 12:23 am
@ruhi…
thanks for a detailed clarification on all the assumptions we have. i think we can use this feedback to fine tune our approach.
//‘fun loving and humorous’ results in immediate disqualification//
I wonder why? for I think everybody needs an occasional smile
//Really? Hmm..weird.//
i think i need to work on my presentation skills…. first impression is often very important
Comment by Ankur — July 13, 2007 @ 7:13 am
@ankur,
[I wonder why? for I think everybody needs an occasional smile
]
Yeah, but most of the people use this phrase because they don’t know any other adjective. And frankly speaking, when everybody says that they are ‘fun loving and humorous’ , then an image of a joker comes to my mind
[i think i need to work on my presentation skills…. first impression is often very important]
You crack me up..
You are the guy on a mission 
All the best.
Comment by ruhi — July 13, 2007 @ 8:59 am
@ruhi
Thanks.
//an image of a joker comes to my mind //
yups humor is always a risky business… if you mess up it blows up on your face
Comment by Ankur — July 13, 2007 @ 9:47 am
@ruhi..
Your answers were as if i had these 12 points to impress you..i can say it was a generalization not specilization !!
Well i can reply to each of your comments but it will be a long comment..
i can better mail you..if u want..
To sum up.
There are girls of different kinds .. and only few people knw how to pull the right string for the right one..
Still i cannot digest u r indifference to few of my points…
anyways cheers!!!
Comment by nitin — July 13, 2007 @ 11:07 am
@sree and ankur
thanks for being a friend here…
Comment by nitin — July 13, 2007 @ 11:59 am
anytime, Nitin
on behalf of Ankur too
Comment by sree — July 13, 2007 @ 12:18 pm
@nitin,
[There are girls of different kinds .. and only few people knw how to pull the right string for the right one..]
I agree
I can’t speak for the whole crowd. That is how I feel only. It’s not representative of the entire gender, of course. If you know which string to pull, then you definitely know what you are doing!
[Still i cannot digest u r indifference to few of my points…]
I’m weird, I know
Thank you for sharing your points, btw. Need to keep a look out. Haha.
Comment by ruhi — July 13, 2007 @ 12:25 pm
These things are all very important to do for a woman. Not just any woman but that special focus of your life. And she for you, assuming that you are the focus of her life. but It’s not what you do, it is WHY you do it. True romance is not ‘let’s make a deal,” It is ‘Let’s make a life.’ Go for the life (and partnership) that you dream of. And then make it better.
It should start with constant emotional connection — John Gottman’s “bids.” He has done years worth of research and finds that successful and unsuccesful relations have nothing to do with male dominance, or female pride or any such ‘advice’. — but constant and positive emotional connection.
If you are not up to the romantic marathon of a life long commitment, then don’t enter that race. Go for the sprint of the one night stand: some people like that kind of emotional excitement for a few years, that is, until they find out how emotionally unrewarding it is.
Comment by Jim Hinds — July 14, 2007 @ 3:23 am
@Jim
Thanks for beautifully summing up your ideas. I totally agree with your views… people in love do not keep track of what they have done and compare with what their partner has done
Welcome to E-Nagar.. We hope so see more more from your side.
Comment by Ankur — July 14, 2007 @ 7:36 am
good post and good comments too
Comment by enigmaticash — July 17, 2007 @ 1:55 am
Hello Enigmaticash…thanks and welcome here
Comment by sree — July 17, 2007 @ 8:06 am
[...] Click Here for a post by Ankur. [...]
Pingback by Chillpilgrim » Blog Archive » Men’s Rights — July 17, 2007 @ 1:38 pm