1. 3 Easy Ways to Die :
Take a Cigar daily – You will die 10 years early.
Drink Rum daily – You will die 30 years early.
Love Someone Truly – You will die daily.
2. A foolish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
3. One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption :
Before Marriage – Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage – Drink whenever you are HAPPY
4. Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER – Tell her NOT to tell ANYONE..
5. Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their friends.
6.. Let us be generous like this : Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.
Ant 1 says : we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says : No, Let us break his Leg alone.
Ant 3 says : No, we will just throw him away from our path..
Ant 4 says : No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
7. If you do NOT have a Girl Friend – You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend – You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
8.. Question : When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE.
Answer : On their MARRIAGE.
9. When your LIFE is in DARKNESS, PRAY GOD and ask him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness – Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL.
10. Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT BE PUNISHED TWICE for the same Mistake.
- Forwarded by Lux
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