ENagar

No matter how much cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens. ~ Abraham Lincoln

Sex without love is merely healthy exercise. ~ Robert Heinlein

Sex is emotion in motion. ~ Mae West

Sex relieves tension - love causes it. ~ Woody Allen

Condoms aren’t completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus. ~ Bob Rubin

Remember, if you smoke after sex you’re doing it too fast. ~ Woody Allen

The best contraceptive is the word no - repeated frequently. ~ Margaret Smith

Men get laid, but women get screwed. ~ Quentin Crisp

Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact. ~ Marlene Dietrich

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute. ~ Author Unknown

Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. ~ Butch Hancock

To hear many religious people talk, one would think God created the torso, head, legs and arms, but the devil slapped on the genitals. ~ Don Schrader

Sex on television can’t hurt you unless you fall off. ~ Author Unknown

Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. ~ Mark Twain

We all worry about the population explosion, but we don’t worry about it at the right time. ~ Arthur Hoppe

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. ~ Woody Allen

There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats. ~ Elton John

When a guy goes to a hooker, he’s not paying her for sex, he’s paying her to leave. ~ Author Unknown

The good thing about masturbation is that you don’t have to get dressed up for it. ~ Truman Capote

A dirty book is rarely dusty. ~ Author Unknown

I think I could fall madly in bed with you. ~ Author Unknown

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t! ~ George Bernard Shaw

Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped. ~ Author Unknown

Don’t knock masturbation - it’s sex with someone I love. ~ Woody Allen

When a man goes on a date he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows. ~ Frederike Ryder

Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~ Author Unknown

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? ~ Murray Banks

Tell him I’ve been too fucking busy - or vice versa. ~ Dorothy Parker

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets. ~ Author Unknown

A student undergoing a word-association test was asked why a snowstorm put him in mind of sex. He replied frankly: “Because everything does.” ~ Honor Tracy

Sex is interesting, but it’s not totally important. I mean it’s not even as important (physically) as excretion. A man can go seventy years without a piece of ass, but he can die in a week without a bowel movement. ~ Charles Bukowski

When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. ~ Matt Groening

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P.J. O’Rourke

A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation. ~ Karl Kraus

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it. ~ Cary Grant

My message to the businessman of this country when they go abroad on business is that there is one thing above all they can take with them to stop them catching AIDS, and that is the wife. ~ Edwina Currie

I’d like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he’s working on now.
~ Author Unknown

The common thread that binds nearly all animal species seems to be that males are willing to abandon all sense and decorum, even to risk their lives, in the frantic quest for sex. ~ Randy Thornhill and Craig T. Palmer