A nerdy-looking guy told his buddy that, for his 21st birthday, his roommate got him a sweater. He said, “I’d have preferred a screamer or a moaner, but she wasn’t bad!”
July 31, 2008
July 30, 2008
What they teach you at MBA
$5 million:
Estimated annual cost for a 10-year program that
would identify large asteroids most threatening to earth.
$75 million:
Budget for “Deep Impact”, a film about the devastation
caused when a comet hits earth.
July 29, 2008
whats the time
While Moshe was waiting on the train platform, a younger Jewish man asked him for the time but Moshe ignored him. The young man asked again, but again Moshe ignored him. Finally, the frustrated young man asked, “Excuse me, but I’ve asked you for the time twice. Why are you ignoring me?”
Moshe glanced over and replied, “Look, friend, we’re both waiting for the train. If I answer you, when we finally get on that train, you’ll probably sit next to me, we’ll start talking, and I’ll probably invite you home for Shabbat, where you’ll meet my daughter. You’ll like her and eventually want to marry her. And to be honest, why would I want a son-in-law who can’t afford a watch?!”
—
A woman told her husband, “I finally got rid of those headaches that have killed me all these years. I saw a hypnotist today and he told me to stand before a mirror and repeat to myself, ‘I do not have a headache’ three times. It worked! My headache is gone.”
Her husband replied, “That’s wonderful. Maybe he could help my libido.” The next day he went to the hypnotist. When he got home, he ripped off his clothes, picked up his wife, carried her to their bedroom, put her on the bed, and said, “Don’t move! I’ll be right back.”
He spent a few minutes in the bathroom, returned, and made passionate love like he hadn’t in years!
His wife said, “That was wonderful! Want to go again?”
He said, “Don’t move! I’ll be right back” and headed to the bathroom. Curious, this time she followed him. She found him standing before the mirror saying, “She’s not my wife. She’s not my wife! She’s…”
July 28, 2008
whole tooth
“Daddy! I lost part of my tooth!”
His parents checked and, sure enough, a piece had broken off. To lighten the moment, the father asked his wife, “I wonder what the tooth fairy gives for half a tooth?”
“Nothing,” she replied. “She wants the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth!”
July 27, 2008
Neighborhood Effect
I recently came across a very interesting finding. How the fortunes of one person increases the spending of the entire neighborhood.
Isn’t it interesting that just to show off and for senseless vanity we often are driven to over spend and live beyond our means.
July 26, 2008
Best friend
If you don’t believe that your dog is truly your best friend, put your wife and your dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. When you open the lid, who’s really happy to see you?!
