Love is grand; Divorce is a hundred grand.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Time may be a great healer but it’s a lousy beautician.
Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember, amateurs built the arc, professionals build the Titanic.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
Politicians and Diapers have one thing in common.
They both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears this is true.
There will always be death and taxes, however death doesn’t get worse every year.
Dijon Vu – the same mustard as before.
I plan on living forever. So far, so good.
If you always hit the bulls eye every time, then your target is too near.
Practice safe eating, always use condiments.
A day without sunshine is like night.
If marriage is outlawed then only outlaws will have inlaws.
Age doesn’t always bring wisdom, sometimes age comes alone.
It’s frustrating to know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you any questions.
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at a really tempting moment.
You don’t stop laughing because you grew old. You grew old because you stopped laughing.