e-Nagar

June 14, 2010

The Physics of Egg Half Fry

Filed under: Humor — Tags: , — shobhendrasrivastava @ 10:38 pm

The newest bug which has caught me is nowadays is cooking. Now , I  realize that at 26 years of age , I am a late starter in this sophisticated field ,  but none the less , as I always say to myself before trying anything new  – ‘Everything is difficult before it become easy’ , hence here  also , I decided to venture on this new field with enthusiasm. There was certainly a huge  lack of skill, but apparently no lack of will.
Bear in mind that , that until I caught this bug , I have never even boiled water. So everything I try provides me a  new set of  leanings and new set of rules . It is a different matter that it provides my kitchen with a new set of accidents.(and the set of accidents is , I must confess , is by no means small ).
I know my limits (or maybe not , that’s why I am cooking ) , hence I decided to start with the innocuous egg half – fry.Now all of you would say that it is one of the simplest thing in the world – Put a pan on the gas , break an egg on the pan , move the pan here and there a bit and you get an egg half fry as seen in pic below.Add salt and spices as per your taste.And that’s about it . Simple !

Egg Half Fry !!!

Well things were somehow not so simple when I tried it.
I certainly put the non-stick pan correctly on the gas and I certainly turned on the gas .(important step else how will the food cook – I thought it myself , it was not even mentioned in the recipe book ! ).
Then I took an egg , hit it with a spoon so that it cracks and dropped the inner contents of the egg on the frying pan. Within 30 seconds I learned , the non- stick pan is a misnomer as my egg got stuck on the pan’s surface badly, I somehow scraped it off from the pan and placed it in the only place it was worth placing – the dustbin.
After much extensive research on the internet , I discovered that even in non-stick pan one has to put some oil on the pan’s surface to avoid sticky incidents.I started wondering if the ‘non stick pan‘ should actually be called ‘nonstick only after using oil pan‘ , but decided to think over it on a later date and came back to give another attempt to the egg half fry.
On coming back to the cooking area , I realized that  I  had forgotten to turn off the gas.But that’s not such a big deal , is it ? I took back the misnomer non stick pan , put it on the gas , put some oil on it , let it heat up a but and cracked an egg on it again.Much to my disappointment , as the egg touched the pan , the inner yellow portion(yolk) of the egg burst open and spill all over the pan.My initial impression was that it must have been an egg of a chicken with weak inner strength and feeble character.But then I though – Chickens cannot be humans , hence there must be some other reason.
And then it stuck me – it the same thing which has been the cause of all those injuries to me during my childhood – Newton’s acceleration-due to gravity  g . I realized that I must not drop the egg from a very high height else it will fall down with a faster speed due to gravity and hence spill open on impact with pan. Now the next confusion was what is the ‘break point height limit’ of each egg. They should mark it on each of the eggs else how will one know after which height the egg will break. But I thought , that it expecting too much from technology.Maybe, after a decade or so it would be mandatory to sell eggs with break point height linit marked on them. I realized , I  was going ahead of my time so I broke the chain of thoughts and came back with a fresh egg.
Now this time , I did everything right -  pan , oil , heat , correct height , but for some reason I got another unexpected output.The yellow(yolk) which is supposed to be in the center (refer the pic) with the white albumen  surrounding it was actually present on the edge of the white albumen. It seems as if the it wanted to leave the white bed and venture the world on it ‘s own. I know what you are thinking – the egg has the characteristics of traveling , it must belong to a migratory bird.
But alas , my friend – in this world there are no simple explanations.It turns out the culprit was center of mass , trigonometry and of course gravity. See,at the time of cracking the egg, if the egg is not parallel to the surface of the pan , then all the inner contents of the egg will slide to one side of the egg and the force of gravity (mg) will split into mgcos@ ans mgsin@ (will always was a bad thing while solving physics problems in school), which will cause your yellow yolk liquid (which is heavier compared to the white albumin liquid) to fall away from the exact vertical point below on the pan.The white albumen liquid , on the other hand , which has lesser weight and lesser self – ego  will not be bothered by this inline ans still fall in the center.The end result will be a displaced yolk in the half fry.
It took me 3 eggs to experiment with and confirm my research. It would have also calculated the angle @ which causes the yolk to fall out of the white portion completely of the half fry – it would have been a breakthrough discovery (just like the calculation of escape velocity – the minimum  velocity which is required by satellites to launch them successfully in the earth’s orbit ) but I was running out of eggs , hence I had to put my enlightening research on hold.
Now all excited – with pan , oil , heat up of pan , correct height , no incline – I cracked the egg and VOILA  (or maybe WAKA   – the phrase of the moment – thanks to FIFA and Shakira ) -I got a perfect half fry egg.
I gobbled it up after adding salt to it and rushed to write this blog to tell everyone about it.
After the successful half fry and this blog , I feel so satisfied with my efforts – now there is no chance of anything going wrong – or is it ? Damn , the gas is still on …………….

June 9, 2010

What I want in a man

Filed under: Humor — Ankur Aggarwal @ 11:51 pm

What I Want In A Man! Original List
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8.. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3. Works steady – splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I’m talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn’t borrow money too often
4. Doesn’t nod off to sleep when I’m venting
5. Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn’t scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn’t require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he’s laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers that it’s the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing.
2. Doesn’t miss the toilet.

Send this to the women who will enjoy reading it and to the men who can handle it!

AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, THE HUSBAND TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT HIS WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, “Darling, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GIRL.
NOW I HAVE A $500,000..00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I’M SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU’RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS.”

HIS WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN. SHE TOLD HIM TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT HE WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

AREN’T OLDER WOMEN GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE CRISIS

June 6, 2010

Trust and honesty

Filed under: life — Ankur Aggarwal @ 12:14 pm

According to Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trust_(sociology)) Trust is a measure of the belief in the honesty, fairness and benevolence of the other party. It is also dependent on the competence of the other party in delivering what is expected or promised. However competence is secondary because failure in competence is more easily forgiven than failure due to lack of honesty and benevolence. Everybody believes that honesty is very important for trust; however the question is what comes first.

Let me use the corollary of a house to explain how relationships are formed. A complete stranger would not be allowed even inside the main gate of the house and would have to yell from outside to be heard. There is a well defined and known protocol for treating guests and based on how much one trust a person, he/she would be allowed access to the front gate, porch, living/drawing room, kitchen, bedroom etc. A stranger cannot walk into the bedroom without being labeled as an intruder and similarly the host cannot welcome a stranger to the bedroom without raising suspicion about the sly intentions of the rendezvous.

In a relationship one has to pass a serious of hurdles before being trusted and unless there is trust, one is scared of telling the truth and revealing oneself. Even if you visit a hospital and ask strangers “How are you doing?” chances are that the response would be “I am fine.”

Everybody is economical with truth and honesty often makes one feel naked and vulnerable. Hence we create secrets and sharing secrets is a way through which a lot of people (esp. girls and kids) communicate to others that they are trusted and also check their trustworthiness. Hence my assertion that contrary to popular perception one has to build up trust before they can expect honesty in most relationships. However once the trust gets build up, there is no faster and irreversible way of breaking it than dishonesty with malicious intention.

On a lighter note, I have known couples who have problems telling their spouses that they are fat or what they truly feel about the new home décor. In most cases, their spouses know the real answer/feelings of their partner and this white lie does not bother them or damage their relationship because the intention was not malicious.

PS: I have had no formal education in sociology.

June 5, 2010

Oh Jeffrey…

Filed under: review — Skabeesh @ 10:06 am

Being an avid fan of sitcoms and an ardent, high-end, pc-game player, I had high expectations from a recent film. I am talking about the release – Prince of Persia: Sands of Time. I have played the game series on which the film is supposedly based. I loved this game so much that for a while I had restyled my erstwhile flowing locks to match the protagonist’s. Also, I knew that the film would feature Richard Coyle, who portrayed my favourite character – Jeffrey Murdock, from a hilarious British sitcom, Coupling. Never earlier had I wanted to throw a shoe at the big screen…hoo boy, what a disappointment!

I tell you why.

The film story is very different from the game and also sucks (My girlfriend differs on this point).

The action sequence leaves me with a hollow feeling when compared to the game series.

The female protagonist, with due respect, stands nowhere in comparison to Monica Bellucci, who modelled and voiced the game’s female character.

Coming to Mr. Coyle, I don’t know if I have stereotyped him as a comedy genre actor or because of his heavy British accent, I don’t think he could portray the character Tus very convincingly (This, after the fact that he is a theatre actor). Half the time while he spoke, I expected a joke in his very Jeff-like voice.

I don’t know about others, but people who were a fan of the game series or of Couping…don’t go for it. It simply ruined my evening.

June 4, 2010

Why I don’t use satire

Filed under: Miscellaneous — Ankur Aggarwal @ 12:48 pm

The dictionary meaning says that a satire is:
“Witty language used to convey insults or scorn, esp. saying one thing but implying the opposite”

my experience says that satire is one of the most dangerous forms of communications.
1. it assumes that everyone except the recipient has a higher intellect. (esp the person who is trying to have a lighter moments)
2. offends the recipient because it does not give him chance to enjoy the statements.
3. the words and the meaning are so different that often the audience does not get the joke

A cartoonist would often use satire and there are a lot of people who feel that slapstick comedy is a cheep form of entertainment.

However one has to understand that when a professional or cartoonist uses satire everyone knows it’s a joke, and they don’t take his/her words literally. In everyday life, when we try to use satire, there are a lot of people who would take a few moments before they realize it’s a joke. Also a professional entertainer can insult and make fun of a celebrity, politician etc. because firstly the joke is intended to humor you and not those celebrities. Secondly he does not know that celebrity and hence is ambivalent to their reaction.
In life, it is very easy to crack a joke, but very difficult to ensure that no boundaries are transgressed.

June 3, 2010

Coffee’s Priority

Filed under: Thoughts — Skabeesh @ 12:52 pm

From a forward email:

A professor of philosophy came into his class with a glass jar, some rocks, pebbles, sand and a cup of coffee. Then he asked his students if all the ingredients would fit in the jar. Looking at the entire ingredients, most of them replied in the negative.

The professor proceeded to fill all the rocks in the jar. Then he took the pebbles and poured them in, while shaking the jar. They fit in the gaps between the rocks. The professor then looked up and asked what the students thought of it now. They had started smiling. The professor then proceeded to fill in the sand. It too, fit in between the pebbles. Then finally, the professor poured in the coffee, a perfect fit. One of the students got up and asked him the meaning of the experiment.

The professor replied – “The jar represents your life. The rocks represent your basic needs, the pebbles your secondary needs and the sand is tertiary needs. If you want to have everything in life, learn to prioritize correctly. If you go for your basic needs first, like family, friends and happiness and then for secondary needs as job and salary, you may be able to get even your superficial needs as societal position, recognition etc. Prioritize them wrongly, and your life isn’t enough to hold all of them.”

After a round of applause, another student said – “But professor, what about the coffee?”

“Oh that,” said the professor with a smile, “that just shows that no matter how full your life may be with your needs, always find an evening for a cup of coffee with a good friend. It fits in with everything.”

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