Several years ago, I came home from a business trip in a terrible storm with crashing thunder and lightning. As I entered the bedroom, I found our two frightened kids in bed with my wife. So I slept in the guest room that night. The next day, I explained to the kids that it was okay to sleep with Mom during a storm, but when I was expected home, they had to sleep in their own beds. Several weeks later, my wife and kids picked me up at the airport. My plane was late and a dense crowd packed the baggage area. As I entered, my son saw me and came running, shouting, “Daddy! Guess what? Nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!” The terminal grew very quiet!
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Wife: “Honey, I want you to whisper dirty things to me.” Husband: “Kitchen, living room, bathroom…”
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How is Christmas like a day at the office? You do all the work and some fat man in a suit gets all the credit!
For Christmas this year, I got the usual: a shirt and a piece of a$$ …both about two sizes too big!
