e-Nagar

Ever wondered why companies with names like Sahara (means support) and Reliance score so low on:

1. Corporate Governance
2. Transparency
3. Accounting practices

I guess through their corporate names the management is trying to obliterate these very concerns.

It is a simple movie about a dysfunctional marriage which is finally saved by the husband. The guy’s parents entrusts upon a book with a 40 days step by step workout on how to rekindle the love, care and affection. Also embedded in the movie are some references to Christian philosophy, religion and sanctity of the marriage as a bond that can only be broken by death. However I would say that it is a must watch for anybody who has overcome the marital difficulties.

When…

1. You have faced power-cuts up to 10hours a day!
And yet, it’s no big deal for you.

2. Even though the hottest party spot/pub in town says “Admit Over 18, Drinks over 25″ You have been inside and have enjoyed a beer, being underage.

3. Living in the most posh colonies, you get to hear, “Aloo, Bhindi Pyaaz, Tamatar le loo”… And you hear women asking the vegetable vendor “Bhaiyaa aapne free dhaniya nehi diya!” [Even with Half a kilo Carrot]

4. You have Driven rash and Broken Signals more times than you can count. Doesn’t matter whether you have a license or not.

5. Every teenager knows at least one “ghunda” on whose name he can jump around all day.

6. You have seen your relative or family member bribing a policeman at-least once.

7. You have been to Big Chill at-least once.

8. When a car accident occurs, instead of solving the problem quietly, either one of the drivers would start with.. “B******, meri gadi maar di, ab tu ruk, mein teri marta hoon” or something kinda.

9. In the 90′s you have been to India Gate and around 2000-2002 you have been to Ansal Plaza more times than you can count.!

10. Mocha,CCD,Barista,Hookah,24×7 are like your favorite hangouts.

11. You just love socializing.

12. You speak or hear the word “setting” or “jugad” at-least once a day.

13. When you stare at a school bus, you see students talking of the phone, care free OR Chilling out listening songs on the Ipod.

14. A meter working in a Auto – Miracle! And hear statements like..
# Gas nahi hai
# Gaadi waapis dene ka time ho gaya
# Wahan se waapis ki sawaari nahi milti
# Wahan jaam (traffic jam) mein kaun fasega

15. All guys have at-least been to Pallika bazar and they all know why. Well, even the girls are starting now.

16. This is the place when you actually feel like slapping the same traffic policeman who caught you yesterday… Because today he’s on his bike without a helmet or talking on the phone…

17. Qutub Minar, Red Fort, Lotus Temple are just for tourist. You havn’t been to more than two of these.

18. Past Midnight? Hungry? Go to a Five Star, The Airport or the only hangout in south, 24×7. Where the FUCK will the West,East and North Delhi people end up? No nearby joint.

19. You have an example of Delhi being unsafe for women after Midnight. And now even for men.

20. You wont be surprised if you find some old lady bargaining at a SALE.

21. Young or Old, You have played street football in the rains and have ended up breaking some glass.

22. You first abused real bad when you were around 10 years old.

23. Your Dad’s really good friends with at least one Public Figure.

24. Library is virtually non-existent unless you go to British council or American Library or Max Mueller Bhavan

25. Deepavali means every house is illuminated to such an extent that you wonder if its a competition of illumination and cracker bursting is so continuous that it is difficult to imagine one moment of silence on Diwali.

26. You have had the most RANDOM plans. Like reaching for a movie show which starts at 1pm, at 12:55pm and just hoping that gods left some tickets for you and your friends.

27. You have been warned by your parents at-least once that going at public places like Malls, isn’t safe, Cuz there might just a BOMB in that place.

28. Being from DPS, Modern or now even Goenka is like the SHIT.

29. You glare at people who call Gol-Guppa’s- Pani Puri!
And you always ask the vendor “Bhaiya yeh Gol-Guppe Aate ki hai ya Sooji ke?”

30. If in school, Your conti got busted by cops, teachers or a combination of both.

31. You’ve had school cancelled due to cold, summer vacations preponed due to heat and have at least thrice evacuated your school building after tremors.

32. You’ve hit 120 kmph at Nelson Mandela Marg.
And after crossing it, you might end up saying ” FEEL AA GAYE”. OR, You have raced up the DND and taken the U turn back.

33. You have been to a wedding in a Mehrauli farmhouse and have hit Nasha later on.

34. You have taken the 10 rupee Call Center cab/ Qualis from anywhere to Gurgaon/Noida.

35. You have seen a child with crutches begging on the Red Light RUN fast when the light turns green!

36. Almost every Delhi-ite understands Punjabi to an extent. May he belong to any region. PUNJABI unites everyone

37. You call the waiter in the restaurant “boss” & tack on “yaar”/ “bhai” to almost every sentence.

38. Rajender Da Dhaba’s got better chicken than Taj. You’ve at least tried it once! And you just might see a BMW, a Porsche OR a Peugeot parked outside it!

39. You have surely heard of “Chor Bazar” but never been there.

40. You use the word and have described practically every other person on the planet as “Vella”.

41. ‘KAROBAR’ = ‘Car-O-Bar’ i.e. drinking in the car….Hell yeah! thats what we live for!

42. You often see Middle Aged Aunties wearing Gucci shades and holding LV bags having Gol-Gappas in GK (Near Prince Pan) or Bhelpuri in South Ex along with Diet Coke !

43. Miranda house and CJM are two places where u’ll see people from different school/colleges hang out.

44. In the 90s, movie at Chankaya, momos at Yashwant Place and Hot Choc Fudge at Nirula’s = ULTIMATE Fun.

45. School students here, have gone to school, so early in the morning, it being Dark!..REAL Dark And you’ve attended those 3am GROUP tuition’s during your boards!
Haha.. Spookky! Lol.

46. Almost every Delhite has witnessed a DTC bus brawl turning into street fight.. Yet fun! OR the DTC bus over-speeding/breaking traffic rules/ or disc breaking.

47. You have probably been to Gurudwara Bangla Sahib @ 4 in the morning. Or even at 6 ‘cuz you were out on a day-bunk!

48. When everyone from the Auto Driver, Vegetable Vendor, Grocery Store guy, Watch-man, Salesperson to just any ‘guy’ is referred to here as ‘Bhaiya’

49. You refer to East Delhi as Jamuna ke Us Paar.

50. You refer to AIIMS as Medical.

51. You dont buy tickets for a music concert or cricket match, but try to take the help of your friend’s Dad, who happens to be the PA to the under secretary of the deputy secretary of the chief secretary of the Minister of State for Khadi.

52. You overtake everyone from the wrong side and stare into his/her eyes while doing so.

53. You call Gurgaon & NOIDA as illegitimate cousins of Delhi!

54. Most of you have at least two cars; your drivers have scooters and mobiles.

55. As soon someone tells you abut an important political development, you whip out your mobile and whisper into it as if you have access to the Prime Minister’s OFFICE!

56. You know that a farmhouse has nothing to do with cattle or farming.

57. You used “contacts” for everything, from getting movie tickets to restaurant bookings to playschool admissions.

58. You didn’t find ‘Monsoon Wedding’ funny. And Laughed your ass off when you watched ‘Dilli 6′

59. You’ve probably used the word ‘Tota’ to describe ANY Random-Hot-Chick that just passed by! ‘Phew!

60. You have had Anda parantha outside Vikram hotel and Bun Omelet at Dhaula Kuan at least once!

61. Almost anyone except a Delhi-ite is a “Chutiya”

62. DESPITE of all the goods and bads.
You still Love Delhi. =]

And you want more.

Guest post by T R Ramaswami

Opponents of ASFPA must read the autobiography of an ex-IPS officer, Shri E.N. Ram Mohan, titled Simply Khaki. Mr. Rammohan was last DG of the BSF (1997-2000) and had served for extensive periods in the North-East and J&K. In the book he states that every political party, particularly in the North-East and Kashmir has a militant unit which comes into play when that party is in the opposition. Insurgency is therefore a political issue which ALL political parties are responsible for creating and nurturing.

Instead of asking for the ASFPA to be repealed, why doesn’t anyone, including human rights activists, central/state governments and the media have the guts to ask for withdrawal of the army in toto from internal security duties? Or let us have another alternative – if any state wants the army for insurgency operations, without ASFPA, the Home Secretary and the DG Police of the state will be sent home for incompetency and the army commander will function in both those offices. Or better still, President’s rule will be declared in the state and martial law declared. Done? Every political party wants ASFPA to be repealed when in the opposition but needs the army to hold their pants when they are in power. Will media even have the courage to state openly that using the army internally signifies failure of all politicians, police and bureaucrats? I challenge anyone to counter my views openly. I am of course assuming, but am open to correction, that media has the courage to publish this letter. It is lack of this courage to express true public views, that has led to “hate sites” which are now clownishly attempted to be censored.

Guest post by T R Ramaswami

ASFPA opponents may note this story that explains the issue neatly. A human rights NGO worker, a TV journalist and a tough old soldier were captured by terrorists in Kashmir. The leader granted each one last request. The HR NGO worker said, ‘Well, I’d like one last plate of tandoori chicken.’ The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chicken. The HR activist ate it all and said, ‘Now I can die content.’ The TV journalist said, ‘I want to record the scene here and what’s about to happen. Maybe, someday, someone will see it and know that I was on the job till the end.’ The leader handed over a video camera and the journalist filmed as he spoke. He then said ‘Now I can die happy.’

The leader turned to the soldier and asked, ‘ Havaldarji, what is your final wish? ‘Kick me,’ said the soldier. So the leader kicked him. The soldier rolled to his knees, pulled a hidden pistol from inside his vest and shot the leader dead. He emptied his sidearm on the shocked terrorists and with an AK-47, from an already dead terrorist, sprayed the rest. In a flash all of them were dead. The HR NGO worker and the journalist asked him, ‘Why didn’t you just shoot them all in the first place? Why did you ask him to kick you?’ ‘Because’ replied the soldier, ‘if I had shot first, you two would have reported that I was the aggressor and the root cause of all the blood shedding in Kashmir! Now you know why the army needs AFSPA. Go tell this to the world.’

Mobile phone is like the ultimate fashion accessories these days. We change phones not because the old one is damaged/lost but because we no

A year ago one of my female colleagues was really delighted by Micromax Bling. She loved its square shape, the fact that it had a square screen with 2 crystal buttons with a mirror. She felt that it was like a nose powder box and was the latest fashion accessory that should be added to her purse. She actually bought one and was quite happy with it. Her only dissatisfaction was that “The phone is not pricy enough. I would have loved it even more if it was 5,000/- more expensive.”

Similarly for my mother, less is more. All she is looking for a phone with a good battery life, strong reception during her travel, few buttons and big font size in the display (so that she can function even without her glasses). She does not want a smart phone. It’s not that she is averse to technology; she just associates a phone with telephonic conversations. Any why shouldn’t she STD rates in India are as low as 20-50p (4,500 paisa = 1 USD). Plus you don’t have to pay any monthly commitment/subscription fee.

She does not want a touch screen: because she would rather use an application over the laptop then over a tiny weenie screen. Also her ear-rings (in spite of the proximity sensors etc.) have a tendency of muting her conversation (or a similar mischief). She would rather use an application over a laptop where everything is clearly visible than over a phone.

A business phone (like blackberry) is counterproductive because the key size is too small without the glasses.

Till recently she had a simple nokia phone with a standard 12+3 button format and a color screen. However now she does not want it because her maid has a similar phone.

I am sure there is a huge market for expensive phones with easy to use features.