e-Nagar

July 1, 2009

A quote from Ulysses

Filed under: Miscellaneous, Quotes — Skabeesh @ 11:37 pm

This one has always helped me when down in blues…

’Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite The sounding furrows;
for my purpose holds To sail beyond the sunset,
and the baths Of all the western stars until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

October 7, 2007

The Autobiography of A Good Joke.

Filed under: Quotes — sree @ 10:03 pm

Here is a lovely quote:

“…The diamond is precious from its scarcity, and, for the same reason, a new thought is beyond all price.
On rare occasions some commanding genius astonishes the world by a new joke ; but this is an event,-the event of the year in which the grand thing is uttered…”

Guys ENagar seems to be running low on jokes… so please put on ur thinking caps, and share your giggles with us :)

June 15, 2007

Unconditional Love

Filed under: Quotes — Ankur Aggarwal @ 1:55 am

A friend of mine recently quoted…

If you want unconditional love, get a daughter or a dog.

Since I have none, I would be curious to know What are your views on the statement?

April 24, 2007

“Wife” Philosophy

Filed under: Humor, Quotes — Ankur Aggarwal @ 7:02 am

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. (Sacha Guitry)

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together. (Hemant Joshi)

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. (Socrates)

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. (Dumas)

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want? (Sigmund Freud)

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. (Anonymous)

“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.” (Henny Youngman)

“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.” (Sam Kinison)

“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.” (Patrick Murray)

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you’re right, shut up. (Nash)

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once… (Anonymous)

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. (Henny Youngman)

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. (Milton Berle)

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. (Anonymous)

First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!” Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

April 17, 2007

Great Software Quotes …. !!!

Filed under: Quotes — Ankur Aggarwal @ 12:12 pm

UNIX is simple. But It just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.

–Dennis Ritchie

Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.

–Ralph Johnson

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

–Fred Brooks

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn’t work. Practice is when something works, but you don’t know why it works. Programmers combine theory and practice: Nothing works and they don’t know why.

It’s hard enough to find an error in your code when you’re looking for it; it’s even harder when you’ve assumed your code is error-free.

-Steve McConnell Code Complete

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

-Gerald Weinberg

The Six Phases of a Project:

Enthusiasm

Disillusionment

Panic

Search for the Guilty

Punishment of the Innocent

Praise for non-participants

Good code is its own best documentation. As you’re about to add a comment, ask yourself, ‘How can I improve the code so that this comment isn’t needed?’
Improve the code and then document it to make it even clearer.

–Steve McConnell Code Complete

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

–Bertrand Russell

No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it in front of a live audience the probability of a flawless presentation is inversely proportional to the number of people watching, raised to the power of the amount of money involved.

One of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.

–Robert Firth

Fifty years of programming language research and we end up with C++?

–Richard A. O’Keefe

C programmers never die. They are just cast into void.

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

–Edsger Dijkstra

You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic, but you cannot have both at the same time.

–(Bertrand Meyer)

(Thoughtful…)

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.

–Alan J. Perlis

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring aircraft building progress by weight.

–Bill Gates

The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 10% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.

–Tom Cargill

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning.

–Anon

As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn’t as easy to get programs right as we had thought. Debugging had to be discovered. I can remember the exact instant when I realized that a large part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in my own programs.

–Maurice Wilkes discovers debugging, 1949

I did say something along the lines of “C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows your whole leg off.”

–Bjarne Stroustrup

It has been said that the great scientific disciplines are examples of giants standing on the shoulders of other giants. It has also been said that the software industry is an example of midgets standing on the toes of other midgets.

–Alan Cooper About Face

Computers are dumb and yet they give you answers.

–Pablo Picasso

If the code and the comments disagree, then both are probably wrong.

–attributed to Norm Schryer

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.

–Will Rogers

Einstein argued that there must be simplified explanations of nature, because God is not capricious or arbitrary. No such faith comforts the software engineer .

–Fred Brooks, Jr.

As we said in the preface to the first edition, C “wears well as one’s experience with it grows.” With a decade more experience, we still feel that way.

–Brian Kernighan and Dennis Ritchie

Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability

–Edsger W.Dijkstra

I’ve finally learned what “upward compatible” means. It means we get to keep all our old mistakes.

–Dennie van Tassel

Rules of Optimization:

Rule 1: Don’t do it.

Rule 2 (for experts only): Don’t do it yet.

–M.A. Jackson

Most software today is very much like an Egyptian pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other, with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force and thousands of slaves.

–Alan Kay

Every program has (at least) two purposes:
the one for which it was written,
and another for which it wasn’t.

–Alan J. Perlis

Technology is dominated by two types of people:
Those who understand what they do not manage.
Those who manage what they do not understand.

–Putt’s Law

Copy and paste is a design error

–David Parnas

Any code of your own that you haven’t looked at for six or more months might as well have been written by someone else.

–Eagleson’s law

December 24, 2006

Funny Quotes

Filed under: Humor, Quotes — Ankur Aggarwal @ 2:37 pm

“I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted!”
- George Best -

“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.”
- Spike Milligan. -

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
- Agatha Christie -

Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses. He took us 40 years through the desert in order to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil!
- Golda Meir -

I met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.
- Monica Piper -

I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
- Eric Sykes -

I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming.
- Jimmy Carter -

A woman tells her doctor, ‘I’ve got a bad back.’
The doctor says, ‘It’s because of old age’
The woman says, ‘Doctor, I want a second opinion.’
The doctor says: ‘Sure – you’re ugly too’
- Tommy Cooper -

It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I
have been searching for evidence which could support this.
- Bertrand Russell -

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some
men should be happier than others.
- Oscar Wilde -

A man explained inflation to his wife thus:
‘When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you’re 42-42-42.
There’s more of you, but you are not worth as much.’ :P
- Lord Barnett -

When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
- Gracie Allen -

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