ENagar

May 8, 2009

Buttermilk theory of Love

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 3:08 pm
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A friend of mine today reminded of this interesting theory

In India, most of the good girls find their match while they are still in their High School.
Of those who remain, many of them take advantage of the increased freedom that the hostel life offers.
Still eligible ones go for the arranged marriage immediately after their graduation.
The unlucky few who survive fall prey within the first year of hitting the job market.
So finally what is left is Butter Milk….
i.e. although the name suggest presence of Butter, it has everything but butter.

May 7, 2009

World’s Most Reputable Companies

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 11:27 am
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This week’s economist had published this list of world’s more reputable companies.
I was surprised to see that inspite of all my claims of being aware of the world, etc etc, I knew the existence of only 9-10 companies in the list. I have seen no advertisements, nor have ever used any product marketed by a majority of them.

To see how other people react, I showed this survey around and asked people what they find most startling about this survey
1. A majority of them felt happy that Tata (thanks to Nano, Chorus etc) is in the list.
2. A few questioned the relevance of putting a Chocolate Manufacturer and a furniture retailer in the list.
3. What surprised me is that even though almost all of them were not aware of many of the companies in the list, they were nor surprised of this fact.

Are we Indians so ignorant (and worse accept our ignorance) that the fact that we are not even aware of the presence of these reputable companies?

May 6, 2009

Rabbit and the hunter

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 5:34 pm
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A rabbit is in a circular pond and on its edge stands a hunter who wants to catch it.

The hunter can move across the circumference of the pond at 4 times the speed at which the rabbit can swim. However the hunter cannot enter the pond and if the rabbit swims to the surface without the hunter being close by, then the rabbit escapes.

Can the rabbit outwit the hunter and escape?

May 5, 2009

Thomas Cook holidays

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 5:47 pm
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This was sent around from Thomas Cook Holidays – listing some of the guests
complaints during the season. ” Some people should not be allowed to go on
holiday!!!!!”

“It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I
often needed to buy things during ’siesta’ time – this should be banned.”

“On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost
every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”

“We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to
bring our swimming costumes and towels.”

A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been
locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb”
sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

“The beach was too sandy.”

“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your
brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”

“Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was
ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”

“We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street
trader, only to find out they were fake.”

“No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were
startled.”

“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only
took the Americans three hours to get home.”

“I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’
three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.”

The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation’.
We’re trainee hairdressers – will we be OK staying here?”

“There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish.
The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners.”

“My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a
double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find
myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room
that we booked.”

Bull Power

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 11:05 am
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During my recent visit to Aurangabdad District, I was amazed by the novelty of the traditional method of sugarcane extraction. I had earlier seen a similar process used to extract oil… but still i could not admire it being used to crush sugarcane

April 27, 2009

Terrible accident

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 5:31 pm

From an email forward:
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to
express Praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium.
She said, ‘I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.’
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.
‘Tom was unable to hold me or the children,’ she went on, ‘and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.’
Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.
‘Now,’ she announced in a quavering voice, ‘thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.’
All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, ‘I’m Tom.’
The entire congregation held its breath.
‘I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.’

April 22, 2009

Andy Roney on Sex

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 3:27 pm

1. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

2. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

3. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings…”

4. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men -
‘don’t’ and ’stop’, unless they are used together.

5. Virginity can be cured.

6. Having sex is like playing bridge – if you don’t have a good
partner, you better have a good hand.

7. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep
with the enemy.

8. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life?
Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn’t.

9. Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives!

April 18, 2009

Handling Parents

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 5:10 pm

A visit to Landmark, Infiniti Mall, Mumbai made me realize that there are a few dozen books on parenting, handling a girl/boy child, how to handle rude kids, teenage, etc. etc.
Basically for parents facing having kids/grandkids of almost all ages and facing variety of issues.
However I could not find a single book on handling pushy parents. Parents who push their own agenda too hard that they rob the kid of the freedom. How to bond with parents who spend so much time on the job that they completely ignore you?

I guess there is a big market to be tapped.

April 15, 2009

Steel consumption in India on rise

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 1:41 pm

Till date almost all indicators were giving me pessimistic results. In the month of Feb 2009, the Industrial Production again shrank. However today I got this news:

Steel consumption in the country rose 3.8 percent and production increased 1.2 percent in the last quarter, Steel Secretary Pramod Rastogi said at the conference. Rural housing and infrastructure will continue to boost demand, he said.

This is probably the first credible indicator that suggests that the worst is probably over for India. Now its time for me to further boost the country’s GDP by drinking a mug of Beer

Money Laundering and Insurance selling

Filed under: Thoughts — Ankur Aggarwal @ 12:47 pm

These agents are paid a commission of about 25% of the premium collected (plus a 40% bonus if the targets are met) Although the practice is illegal, but most agents offer a 10% of the policy premium back to the customer as a kickback. Now this kickback is a big source of money laundering.

If an agent sells all the policies in his name, then after paying the tax and kickbacks, hardly any commission would be left for him to earn his bread. Hence instead of selling the policy in his name, he would sell a part of the policy in a businessman’s name. The businessman would hence use the channel to legalize his black money, the agent is able to reduce his tax burden and the black money gets dissipated to the policy holders who receive kickbacks. A very simple arrangement.

As per LIC website, it has over 10,02,109 agents all across the nation. So its not as small as an operation that it sounds like. If you are still skeptical, ask your broker how come there are so many high profile agents from leading business families and he will spill the beans.

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