@skabeesh… flipkart needs to focus of tv ads because they have VC funding. the main motto of VC is to gain control of the enterprise .. usually by forcing the company to expand so much and so fast that it stops making any positive cash flows. So now the more the company needs funds, the more power VC gains.
tv ads are expensive… hence almost all VC would insist of launcing a few immediately after funding

Buy train tickets to the farthest place from where you are posted by the highest class you are entitled to. Take photocopies – then cancel your rail tickets. Then with the money go where you want, how you want. Ensure however that your leave coincides with the dates of the tickets that you have cancelled. Ensure that you are out of your house even if in another house in the same city.

SEN(SE) SEX AUR DHOKA

An educative sensexitively sexplicit film that bares all the technicalities and nuances
of the stock market to the ‘lay’man through the medium of a Bollywood block-buster

By T.R.Ramaswami

It is the title of the new hit movie, the first Bollywood blockbuster on the stock market. The movie will have sufficient item numbers to ensure adequate level of disclosures and transparency, giving an entirely new meaning to the term “bare market”. The producer is seeking legal opinion whether the script needs regulatory approval, apart from the police and censors. Of late censors have been very severe on “bare markets”. It is expected that the price of the tickets will be “book-built” in the grey/black market by brokers before settling to a “fixed price” situation. Appropriately the release is slotted for a Black Friday. However it is expected that there will be no liquidity problems in financing purchase of tickets. Fake/unauthorised CDs/DVDs etc are also expected to be available.

The “red-herring” story, music cassettes/discs etc will be made available about 21 days before the movie is released. Analysts have put excellent reviews on the initial public offering of the movie. It is expected to breach all previously recorded circuit breakers. The Blockbuster’s Randy Lead Male (BRLM) and lead heroine (who usually has to bare and bear the post ‘issue’ responsibilities) will hold a special public briefing live on TV just before the release. A highlight is that international and domestic rights will be separately sold and the entire offering is only for retail viewers. The movie will be listed on all theatres and multiplexes. It is also contemplated, as a first in the history of not only Bollywood but also moviedom, to show the premiere of the film on stock exchange screens after trading hours.

The climax of the movie is regarded as the most sensexsuous hot scene ever shot in filmdom. Although the market is down, the hero comes home in a bullish mood as evidenced by his long outstanding position. The inexperienced debutante heroine, unable to read the market, is caught in a wide-open naked position, her fundamentals fully exposed. The bull decides to study her technically. He starts by analysing the ‘head and shoulders’ formation then moves down to the ‘twin peaks and valley’ formation, then to the ‘flat plateau’ where the chart dips suddenly and then develops the inevitable ‘rounded bottom’ recovery. This dip in the ‘bare’ market has always confounded chartists. The area is very fuzzy and it takes great expertise to untangle and unravel the underlying fundamentals. It may be noted that expert technical analysts call the “peak and valley formations” as a “Samantha Fox”, “Dolly Parton” or “Anne Nicole” depending on various dimensions and the finer ‘points’. The “rounded bottom” is universally called a “J Lo”. These terms have been devised so that even a stock market illiterate will understand them.

The bare does not respond at first. But the bull is not deterred. He has heard during several investor education programmes that sensexually derived returns are highest when they take a long term to ‘come’. He employs the time honoured SIP strategy of small withdrawals followed by quick re-entries. The bare market’s private sector is already under the bull’s control and he broadens and deepens his long position in the pub(l)ic sector. Every time he exploits the technicals, there is volatility, with the bare market thrashing violently and the “twin peaks” and “rounded bottom” find newer higher and lower levels. Soon the bull’s outstanding position increases further and firms up as the bare market surrenders and prepares to go down.

The bare market’s position becomes weak, with all stocks exhausted and has reached a very liquid fully sold state. The bull too has run out of margins and his strong stockholding capacity has no further options. Although “hold” messages are put out and they try to hedge by adopting new positions, the fundamentals are unable to withstand the pressure. The sexercise period of the transaction is nearing its end and since both agree that it is all over, suddenly there is a surge of liquidity thus causing the circuit breakers to get activated and all the screens go blank. As the bull and bare contemplate their futures and options while settlement is taking place, over the Dolby system comes the theme hit song – music “adapted” from a well known Hindi film.

Bechara bakra
Market me phaskar
Sochtha hai ab kya karun

Dhilli kuch bolta hai
Market usko tokhtha hai
Screen me jab bhi dekho sab hai lal hi lal

Oh index down
Down down down down down
Oh index down
Down down down down down!!

The audience goes home appreciating the central theme of the film – that both, investing in the stock markets and sex have no formal qualifications/exams stipulated and perhaps that is why ultimately, in both activities, some get screwed.

WE ARE BEING SERVICED

I became confused when I heard the word ‘service’ used with these government cadres – Indian Administrative Service, Indian Police Service, Indian Forest Service, Indian Economic Service, Indian Postal Service etc. What service do they render? But my doubts were soon removed. I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to ‘service’ a few cows. BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those bureaucrats are doing to us. The (w)hole of the country is being serviced every day! Now you are as enlightened as I am. Feel any pain anywhere?

SEX AND VALENTINE

Mercifully Valentine’s Day passed off more peacefully than expected. However there were the usual media sponsored and created debates on the relevance of the day to our culture, sanskriti, parampara etc. When will the media learn to just ignore all this? Most amusing are the references to love, sex etc. Let the media conduct a study. Find out how many condoms and birth prevention pills are sold on Valentine’s Day and how many are sold during the nine days of Navratri. Case closed.

THE (W) HOLE TRUTH

The real story behind the ministers watching porn in the legislature can now be told. They were to receive a message from their party – “prepare for elections”. Unfortunately there was a typographical error and the message they received was “prepare for erections”. The ministers were only following party directives. What to do?

PORNO-CRACY

Time to amend the Constitution and include the fact that this mahaan desh is also a porno-cracy. I think it was Oscar Wilde who said that the biggest brothel in any country is the government – and who else but the legislators are the pimps? So what’s new about such a class of people watching what they probably do otherwise?

A PEE STORY

A famous actress, a true desi girl, was testing out her new scooter on the highway when nature started to pukar. Looking around she saw a clump of bushes and decided to make use of them. As she finished and stepped out she saw a cop near the scooter, who asked ‘hey ladki, kya kar rahi thi?’ She replies in one word “Susu”. The cop was shocked and said ‘ladkiyan raaste par susu nahin karthi”. The actress came out with her classic response – “Why should boys have all the fun?!!!”

ELECTION BELLS

With elections due in five states, here is a story for voters. John was in the fertilized eggs business. He had several thousand young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. Any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced. This took time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now all he had to do was just listen to the bells.

John’s favorite rooster was old Butch, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. To John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring. He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John entered Butch in the Saint Lawrence County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprize”. Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they were not paying attention.

Vote carefully in the elections – the bells are not always audible.

I feel for you. Unfortunately, your girlfriend will probably have to snap out of it on her own. It me be good to just be supportive and see what happens. If you speak out against her, the upline might convince your girlfriend that you are “negative” and thus, expendable. A lot of people snap out of it after a few months, but some get hooked hard and stay in Amway for years despite losing money month after month, year after year. A friend of mine has been heavily involved for nearly 20 years and he hit platinum about 17 years ago and he’s been backsliding ever since. It’s sad and in my opinion, a waste of time and a waster of life.

I think its complete crap and a waste of time…the development through his readings have been helpful since they are legit books but the business plan sucks. He say’s he is never going to stop…what do i do??

I
First and obvious question to ones mind is how dos one know the company will be in business after 2 decades ? What happens to investment if the company dies ?
Second question is, when NSC is giving gurranted 8.75% return, and one can invest without any cost, is there any pension fund which is gurranted and offer return which equals or more then it ?
Third question is in last 10 yrs or so, did any company die or gave return mor then NSC ? How many gave less ?