i found this note on the facebook profile of an innocent girl and could not stop laughing

This is what happens when an Nerd applys mehndi at his palms.

As a follow-up on an earlier post, I thought I would elaborate more by analysing a movie clip.

Background:
This clip is based on a real episode which occurred in the Arabian theatre of the World War 1. A young British Lieutenant Lawrence crosses the formidable Nefud desert with a small force of 50 camel riders. Here he teams up with one of the rival tribe of Howeitat. This tribe is currently is being paid by the Turks to protect the port city, but Lawrence armed with his superior negotiation skills is trying persuade him to join the cause.

The tribe was hostile to the proposal and its leader Auda has a huge ego. Hence the organization of the arguments were:
1. Ethos to build credibility.
2. Pathos to stir up the emotions and make the person more susceptible to the proposal
3. Logos to neutralize whatever reservations the tribe has and to reaffirm that the proposal makes rational sense too.

In this reenactment, Lawrence uses a team of 3 negotiators and shows a remarkable knowledge of Arabian tribes and psyche and cultural sensitivity. Their arguments could be summarized under the following 3 headings

Ethos:
1. The very act of crossing the desert on a camel was sufficient to prove that Lawrence and his men are fully committed and serious about the alliance. This statement helped the group to solicit a meeting/feast at the rival camp.
2. The band carried out the negotiation under the banner of Prince Feisal.
3. When accused of being a lowly servant: Auda asserts that he is paid 100 pieces of gold by the Turks, which is no servant wages. He tries to give another weak argument boasting of his fighting skills and how he distributes all his wealth amongst his people. Lawrence counteracts by correcting the fact that the tribe is actually paid 150 pieces of gold. This way the team not only is able to control Auda, but also prove their superior intelligence and connections. Also it provides them with a wonderful ground to introduce the Logos.

Pathos:
To raise the temperament and persuade him two statements were used.
1. The Arabs were portrayed as a tribe of slaves. Only Prince Feisal’s men are free, and are fighting for it.
2. Since the Turks pay the tribe to protect them, the tribal leader was compared with a servant. (Which made him to flare up, at which point Lawrence had to back away)
3. While Auda was talking about his achievements in the past, the 3rd person in the band taunts him by claiming that he seems old and incapable of a fight.
4. If Auda will be fighting the Turks, he will be emancipated. He should fight because it is his will, and he takes pleasure in a fight.

Logos:
1. Turks have a box filled with gold at the port of Aqaba. Hence the surprise attack will make them rich.

Saw a bounce back in suzlon .. bought it at 101.8 with stoploss at 100.5 . the market went down till 100.25 before bouncing
back and triggered the stoploss.
I panicked and put an opposite position to cover the losses when it came back to 101.8, but this time the bounce back really happened and it went upto 106, again hitting the stoploss of 103.3.

So basically even though we had bet rightly about the movement of the stock, the volatility made both the bets sour

This one has always helped me when down in blues…

’Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite The sounding furrows;
for my purpose holds To sail beyond the sunset,
and the baths Of all the western stars until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.
Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

We were preparing a short study for conflicts and negotiations using a movie scene as an example. Someone suggested Indecent Proposal, so we took the scene were John actually makes the offer (Better watch the movie if you haven’t). When I had watched it for the first time, it was a five minute scene of a horny and arrogant businessman against a needy and faithful couple.
But now, it was more complex. I was watching it as a proper negotiation. The covert agendas of the characters and the actual conflict now seemed entirely different! John’s real motive was to satisfy his ego by driving home his point(money can buy anything). Sleeping with Diana wasn’t important but just a means to his end. In case of David, more than protecting his wife and their relationship, he was trying to protect his own male chauvinist ego.
Another interesting agenda was how they went about the negotiation.John had complete information on the couple ( as detailed as knowing which dress Diana liked) and he didn’t offer them money, but “A million dollars. A lifetime of security, for one night“. The couple, on the other hand, was instinctive, but David was already thinking about it when Diana replied for him “He’d tell you to go to hell“.
Something tells me that I have taken up really interesting courses in my 2nd year.

For the God could make only a few perfect heads….
Rest he covered with hair.

Shouldn’t there be a community like this somewhere on the planet.

If more than one mouse is mice,
then more than one spouse is Spice

Today morning I realized that I was facing a laundry crisis. Since I was too lazy/busy to wash and iron my clothes, there were none left for me to wear. Also I got inspired by all the lovely ladies who try to shield themselves from the blazing sun by covering themselves from head to toe in garments. So I decided to wear a full sleaves cotton Kurta instead of my usual Tees.

The result was a disaster. I was sweating so profoundly that I think I could see a small trickle of water flowing from me. It might made me feel like Lord Shiva, from whose hair the river ganga origins, but it was not a very comfortable garment.

I wonder how women manage to maintain their calm in all those summer attires they wear. Most of them seem to prefer covering their arms legs and even faces to applying sunscreen creams and lotions.

Recently I had to file an RTI in order to seek some clarifications on the reasons why some of the decisions that my college had made. The trouble and research that I had to go through inspired me to write this post.

RTI act came into force on 12th October 2005 with the aim to introduce transparency. The public authorities need to share all the documentation regarding any decision/indecision and give justification for their actions. Hence it makes them accountable to the public and makes it hard to cover up for any bad governence, corruption or simple carelessness. My experience says that it takes less than 20 minutes to file an RTI and get the ball rolling. Here is how I would recommend you to proceed.

Step 1. Research on your grievances. The more information you have gathered on the topic (formally or informally) the stronger you can make your case. Also it may be possible that your research itself would convince you that there is no need to file and RTI.

Step 2: Draft the RTI: Although you can file the RTI via email, please avoid it. The best way to get the ball rolling in an government office is have things in writing. RTI can be filed on a simple piece of A4 paper in any language (Hindi, english or the regional language). It can be hand written also.

Step 3: Locate the Public Information Officer/PIO. As per law, all government organizations need to have a designated Information officer who would be responsible to handle your RTI. If the department website does not have it, ask someone in the office. If you are still not able to locate him/her you can write to the head of the department.

Step 4: Pay the nominal fees of 10/-. Most departments prefer if you pay via a Postal Order/Demand Draft, however cash is also accepted. Based on the effort required in compiling the response, some additional fees might be charged to you later on, but its nominal.

Step 5: Submit the application
a. In person. Just walk into the office and file it in person. Usually there is hardly any waiting queue and the process should not take long.
b. Speed/registered post: Avoid Couriers because its not recognized by GoI.
c. Electronically: Although it is permitted, there is often a problem in sending the fees etc via this mode.

Step 6: Acknowledgement:
This is the most crucial step. All RTI applications have to be answered in 30 days. Hence please preserve the application number and date of filing.

I will be writing another post soon explaining how to respond to the possible reply/inaction on the RTI.

I was going through this article and wondering through intensive marketing most mobile phone service providers
already have a person who takes cash and recharges the mobile phone.
Why can’t he be upgraded into a person who would:
a. disperse/collect money
b. transfer money from one account to another. esp remittances from
city to families in villages.
c. Pay for the purchases at kirana stores etc.

This way without the need the need of armoured cars/atms and
investment in employees and infrastructure India could provide a bank
service for the masses.

Also the address proof and documentation required for opening a mobile
phone account is very similar to that required to open up a bank
account. Hence such a payment gateway won’t have a problem with RBI.

Currently mobile banking services require opening up a complex bank account, with branches, minimum balance, debit card annual fees etc. Also unless one has a expensive GPRS service, the only transaction possible is checking the account balance and status of a cheque drop.

Reliance m-pay is the closest to a comprehensive banking soultion, but that too requires
having a HDFC credit card (hence cannot serve the masses) I wonder
what is stopping the Airtels and Vodaphone from launching such a
service.

This post was written by T.R.Ramaswami who pens down the problems faced by people in their 30s and 40s.
——–

I write with reference to your front page headline “Sex in City Hits New Low” (DNA 11 Feb 2007). The reasons NOT stated in your article are two. Thirty/forty years ago, we graduated at 22, joined employment at about 24, married at about 26-28, finished our families by 30-32 and became Vice-Presidents/General Managers at about 40-45. Today although a man joins employment at 25, he becomes a VP/GM at 30, gets married at 35 and has his first child when he is nearing or already in his early forties. The wrong muscles are being used at the wrong ages with attendant consequences. Having worked so ‘hard’ at office for his stock options by writing sophisticated software, he finds that he is left holding (sorry for the pun) only very soft options at home and is unable to write a programme to boot his own hardware!! That this is happening when women are becoming more aggressive and demanding is a modern Shakespearean tragedy. The fertility clinic industry will become the fastest growing one in the coming years.

Go to any school at admission time. You will see parents who are in their late thirties/ early forties standing in line for admission to the nursery class for their first child. It is this phenomenon of having late children that is also responsible for a dramatic rise in the number of congenital birth defects, ADHD, Dyslexia, Down’s Syndrome etc. No doubt evolution will slowly take care of this phenomenon, but for an evolution, a century or even a millenium, is a blink of the eye. A related problem is the growing phenomenon of ‘only’ children. Parents are so exhausted by the effort to produce one that they stop thereafter. Contrast this with time of our grandmothers when pregnancy was an annual event! A whole generation is growing up without knowing the meaning of brothers or sisters and if their parents are also single children, then no uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. The family tree is now virtually a family pole! That this is happening mainly amongst the elite and the educated is a social and demographic tragedy whose effects will be known in a few decades. It has been revealed that the absence of siblings and/or close relatives also adds to the emotional stress, particularly if the parents have departed and this normally happens at around 40-50. This is called the Robinson Crusoe Syndrome.

Let’s go even further or younger. Fifty/sixty years ago, boys walked about in their birthday suits with their crown jewels revealed to all. Boys started wearing underwear only at about 12-14, when the consequences of wet dreams started showing on their school uniforms. Even then, the underwear was of the loose variety with a cord and no elastic. Thus the reproductive machinery had ample space to develop under ambient temperatures. Today a child is wrapped in diapers from day one and goes into tight underwear as soon as he is able to stand. Constricted by tightness, the effects begin to show 20/30/40 years later. Tight underwear only makes one a VIP – Very Impotent Person.

To put it in brief (again, sorry for the pun), the best software programme for good hardware is to go easy on the underwear. My letter may appear to be funny or frivolous. I assure you that it has been written in all seriousness, the ‘humorous’ language being used only to enhance readability.

I know that if a certain individual reads this post of mine, it might as well be my last one. This unnamed friend of mine is a glaring example of the hindi saying – “prabhu ki maaya, kahin dhoop kahin chhaya“. Despite being a happily (?) married man with a couple of kids, he was really taken aback when he saw a couple of porn videos. His comments left us laughing and rolling on the floor. His best being:

“WOW! What position is that??”

“Girls DO that? Hmmm…”

“What the hell is THAT?!?”

Being the last of the baby boomers, it can be safely assumed that he had no access to internet, globalization, computers etc. etc. when he really needed them. Thankfully, they have led us to a higher level of exposure (and action) in more aspects of life. Here’s one to Gen X and Y.

Vedas repeatedly say:
“Hate the Sin and not the Sinner”
What the line means is that one needs to have the ability to differentiate between the object and the subject. In today’s world, it becomes specially important because we seem to have lost focus. The focus of any good judiciary process is not to bring the perpetrators of a crime to justice, but to analyse why they did what they did. Then be objective to ones approach and try to mitigate the circumstances which forced/shaped them in what they are.
Our forefathers realized that life is transitory, it can be there today and not there tomorrow. The real problem in hand is not revenge, but to ensure that if you nip this bud, it does not lead to a 100 others. Setting an example of the guilty might be one of the strategy in this goal. However it should not be the only strategy.

Urban solid waste is a major problem in India. According to a TERI report, 70% of the Indian cities lack modern solid waste disposal system and of those who have it, don’t process more than 72% of the waste generated. Most municipalities simply dump the garbage in the landfills which leads to creation of leachate. Another major problem is the scarcity of land for dumping garbage near the urban centers of India.

Gasification reduces the total quantity of the waste. The ash generated does not have the foul odor of decomposing waste and is sanitized. The power generated from the process can supplement electricity supply. Considering the fact that most regions of the country face scheduled power cuts and the fuel import bill constitutes a major chunk of India’s imports, most electricity boards are also favor these mini power plants. Hence the only sustainable solution for India’s Municipal solid waste is gasification. The Government grants and subsidies aid in setting up of the plant, garbage collection and lucrative deals with State Electricity Boards make it an economically viable solution.

As per the MNES, government wants to bring and additional 299 Class I Cities and 36 Class II cities under “National Master Plan for Development of Waste to Energy in India”. The scheme is applicable to private and public sector entrepreneurs and organizations as well as Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs) for setting up of waste-to-energy projects on the basis of Build, Own & Operate (BOO), Build, Own, Operate & Transfer (BOOT), Build, Operate & Transfer (BOT) and Build Operate Lease & Transfer (BOLT). Government is also ready to sign a long contract of over 10 years after the party demonstrates the requisite financial, managerial and technical capability.

I wonder what is still holding these entrepreneur back. There is more money to be made in garbage that they can possibly imagine

I have been brought up in a traditional middle class family where no morning starts without spending some time reading the newspaper. My school started on Thursday and I just now realized that since then have not touched the newspaper. This Sunday morning, while I was staring at the stack of 3 unopened newspaper, I wondered should I discontinue my newspaper subscription.

Is my newspaper like that gym membership which I had taken 2 years ago. I could never take the time out to work out in that gym, yet somehow the very idea of cancelling such a membership meant that I have resigned to the fact that I am too weak to improve myself, do the things we like.

How many times have we paid for the goods and services which we believe we should have, but also secretly know that it will be a complete waste of money.

One of the best way to create a brand position often does not involve having unbelievably tall claims but simple communications.

For example, take the ipod box.
On the black package, in bold white print its written: “Works with PC and Mac”

Unlike most other computer accessories/software packs, it has very little words and pictures. So each word that is written on the box has more emphasis. This simple line is important in a very subtle fashion it emphasizes the Mac notebook’s unique position.

I thought of updating my previous post on nuclear deal. 2 years ago, I had wondered why USA signed this deal. After all the terms of the deal (atleast those revealed to the public) seems to be lopsided in benefiting India. Even the gains made by the rest of the world because of opening up of india as a nuclear market seems to benefit Austraila, Russia and France much more than anybody else.

When India came to the nuclear negotiation table, it had 3 priorities:
1. Nuclear Fuel: India has excess of Thorium, but most of its nuclear program is Uranium based. The shortage of nuclear fuel had reached critical stage when the deal was signed.

2. Electricity: India is already short of electricity and as per India Core every 1% rise in India GDP needs 3% rise in electricity consumption.

3. Technology: Without being disrespectful to Indian Scientists and Engineers, there is always a lot to be gained by exposure and access to technology from a distant land. Plus one cannot ignore india’s skills in reverse engineering.

Areva recently offered not to install turnkey nuclear reactors but is also offering to sell its stake in Uranium mines of Africa.
So basically india is getting all it wants .. and that too at competitive prices.

A year and a half ago I had predicted that with a little effort, the Indian kirana stores can beat the MNCs, and big supermarkets black and blue.
Basically the big retailers have to:
1. Organized retail pay a much higher rent than the local shop/hawker
2. The salary in organized retail is much higher than the daily wage paid by the kirana store.
3. Its hard to believe that any retail can be more efficient than HUL and P&G in managing inventory and supply chain.

Today I read this news in telegraph which says that on a annual sales of 1070 crore, Spencer (RPG group) made a staggering loss of 289 crore.
Subhiksha went out of business and almost every other retail store is cutting back on its expansion plan.

Reading this post, you might feel that I am against organized retail. However personally I prefer malls and organized retail because of better retail experience.

In Indian restaurants the famous green and red dot help us identify if the food is vegetarian or not. However abroad often such distinctions are not so easy.
1. Language barrier: Its often very hard to communicate in a foreign language, the how can one be sure if you can specify its ingredients properly.

2. Definition of Vegetarian: In India cow milk and dairy products are considered vegetarian, but elsewhere it is not. Similarly I had an experience where the food contained fish and sea food.. because the chief did not consider fish as meats.

3. Boneless: Its almost impossible to tell if the cake/icecream contains egg or not. Hence most orthodox indians stay away from it. However sometimes even harmless looking stuff like burgers also have meats.

3. Feigning Allergies: One of the safest bet is to repeatedly and publicly announce that you are allergic to animal products and hope for the best.

If you are a vegetarian how do you cope up with the uncertainties of alien food. Do you believe that
“What you don’t know cannot harm you.”
or you have some other trick up your sleave

What is common between
Sugar
Common Salt
White Flour (Maida)
Ghee
and these days also Milk

All dietitians will tell you that they are bad for health and would like to regulate its intake. However one cannot stop and wonder why all of them needs to be white and how a few grains of salt, a spoonfull of Ghee and Sugar makes the food tasty.

Because of Sixth Pay Commission report implementation, a lot of government and PSU employees on India are getting substantial backwages. This lumpsum payment has resulted in a substantial tax payout for even the lowest paid employees. Not only now these individuals fall under the higher tax slabs, but most of the officers need to pay a surcharge on their income tax (which typically was paid only by the highest paid private sector employees)

However, I was talking to my tax consultant and he said that if an individual has preserved all his tax papers, then there is a way out.
Pay Commission Arrears are payouts of the income withheld by the employer (Government). Hence they are technically income generated in the past years. Hence the individuals can submit a revised income tax documents and correct (increase) their salary in the previous years to reflect the new pay commission pay scales. Doing so they can avoid landing up in the highest tax slab for the financial year 2008-2009.

More details about the Sixth Pay Commission and official notifications/circulars on the same can be found here.

PS: Please consult your tax consultant for further details.

Yesterday, I had the misfortune of hearing the President Pratibha Patil’s address to Indian parliament. It must be an important speech because not only did all the media covered it, but also scores of hours were spend analyzing, discussing and debating on each and every word it contained. The president’s opening address to the parliament formally lists out the newly elected government’s agenda, mission, vision and roadmap.

Yet the only thing I could get from the speech was the coldness. The speech was prepared by Manmohan Singh’s office and the president is not allowed to even change the punctuation. So naturally any listener could make out how phony it looked. Already its hard to believe a politician, so why should I trust a speech whose orater herself does not understand what she is saying?

The reduction in the train stoppages led to a widespread violence, protests and burning of public property. This made me question that if the public would be subjected to such widespread inconvenience then why the rail ministry deleted those stoppages.

I talked to an ex DRM (Divisional Railway Manager), his answer was:

A typical passenger train with 24 bogies services about 2000 passengers per trip (one side). If on an average if less than 10 passengers board/depart from a station then it is eligible for removal. Logic is simple if less than 10/2000 = 0.5% of the general public use a stop, then it is not economical to service it. Even the busses won’t ply for 10 persons then why should railways run a whole train for them.

Not only does less braking reduce the cost of running a train, it also increases the speed of the train. So it is in best interest of the public and the nation.

Similarly recently the assassination of Sant Niranjan Dass in Vienna led to widespread violence in Amritsar. (I am not trying to be disrespectful to him, not I condone the killing) However one aspect of the protest felt very odd. Although he was a Guru (religious leader) of the sikh community, none of the video footage or pictures of the protest demonstrations had people wearing turbans. This is very odd because Sikhs esp. the religious ones are supposed to have long hair and wear a turban at all times.

 
Somehow I am convinced that all these protests are stages. People are simply trying to extract political mileage.

I was fortunate enough to pick this book by the former governer of RBI. 200 page hard bound book (with plastic seal intact) costed me less than 100/-,  so I was a bit cautious if it was any good. My intention was to read the fist few chapters and get a gist about his views on Indian politics and economic policy making. This would give me an insight about what this man saw and why he did what he did.

However this book surprised me. Its well written in high school level english. The book is basically a summary of the current political schenario and a little history about why things are the way they are. Although no document on politics can be unbiased, I must say this book is good attempt for someone who is writing his first book. For some one like me who want to get a feel about the political scenario of the country, but are too afraid/proud to ask this is a god send gift.

Cyclone Aila which hit the coasts of West Bengal has had a devastating effect in the region. The Penn State Chapter of Association for India’s Development (AID) is a volunteer organization that has in the past done some remarkable work in sending relief to those effected in Gujarat Earthquake, Orissa Cyclone, and floods of Bihar and Assam. Please contribute generously and help this organization continue its good work.

PS: Today I would be flying to Kolkatta and would be soon posting a detailed photologue of area.

What is the road sign that you least expect to see in front of a clinic/hospital?

A one way street sign.

I guess it says a lot of things about the competency of the medical staff there.

- this photo was captured inside NITIE Campus, mumbai

My friend at FB shared a wonderful picture…
This sign at the shop reads

Credit will only
be given to people
Over 85 years of age
(fine print) That too if accompanied by both the parents

A common argument that I (and most of the people use) is that English, unlike Hindi, is not a phonetically correct language. Brits write one thing and pronounce it other.

However today my friend threw a challenge at me.

If you think Hindi is so phonetically correct, then try writing “Mel Gibson” in Hindi.

My Hindi is not that great, so in all the attempts I made, I failed. Can one of you help me with that?

I had been tracking ADRs of Indian company for years now. Many of the prominent companies like ICICI Bank, Tata Motors, Infosys, Tata Communications, HDFC, WIPRO. Dr Reddy’s, MTNL, Sterlite etc. are listed in New York. Being 12 hours behind India, the closing price of this exchange gives the insight about the opening prices in India.

NIFTY Futures are traded in Singapore Stock exchange. On monday NSE closed first for 2 hours then for the rest of the day. However Singapore stock exchange only cooled off trades in NIFTY for 5 minutes. So essentially FII could still trade, while domestic markets were closed.

Days like these makes me wonder if merely tracking prices is good enough. Indian government allows individuals to send money abroad and invest in foreign markets, but why do so few of us avail this facility? (there is an annual upper cap of 100,000 USD or so, but its large enough for most of us)

The situation in SWAT valley, Pakistan is far from normal. As per Time over 1.5 million civilians have been displaced and both sides claim to have killed over a 1000 soldiers.

For the past decade or so the government had little control over North West Frontier, but now the situation has reached crisis proportion. Pakistan needs all the men it can to fight the situation, but the problem is that bulk of its army and military infrastructure is entrenched all along the Indo Pak border and is miles away from the actual battlefield. The trust between we 2 countries is so low that no General can even think of sparing these men.

Now the question is:
1. What is the implication of this Afghan Pak standoff for India?
2. How can India make the best of it?

Losing control over the SWAT valley could destabilize/topple the newly formed democratic government in Pak. Now a democratic govt is always far better for the peace of the region than a military dictator. (Musharaff was a war hero and the chief architect for Kargil War)

Lawlessness are the recruiting grounds for terrorist. Even now Pakistan is feeling the heat of the attacks from these groups. We not only have a moral responsibility to lend them a helping hand, but ending this would reduce a lot of terrorist threats for India. After all its better to curtail the threat of Taliban on Pak soil then battle them out in our cities.

Goodwill: If India makes the smallest gesture like declaring:
“We (India) sympathize with Pak for the battle they are fighting and unilaterally declare cease fire till the threat is over” and also withdraw some troops then it will not only help us gain some goodwill with
a. Pak Army
b. Pak population
c. International Forums.

This will free a lot of Pak troops to fight the talibans. Indian army should also welcome this move because this way not only military expenses will go down, it will free our soldiers for other pressing tasks.

I think a small gesture like this could go a long way in resolving the indo-pak conflict over kashmir and also extract diplomatic mileage.

Here are 3 Dilbert strips that i found really funny

I love when people fool around with statistics

.

This is how all the TV shows earn revenue and entice people to call their networks

.

This is one thing that i won’t wish to even my biggest enemy

LTTE started with a very noble cause. Since the 70s it fought for the rights of the Tamil people. Initially the Tamils were treated real bad by the Sinhalese. However the success of this extremist outfit forced the government to treat them like equals.
This 30 year long civil war in Sri Lanka has caused a lot of casualties on both sides. However the real people who suffered were the tens of thousands of refugees who were displaced. Almost every mile of the shore of Tamil Naidu (India) has a refugee camp.

India’s history of treating migrants (even from parts of its own country) is abysmally bad. Biharis and Bangladeshis are regularly singled out and rounded up by not only mobs of civilians but also the police. However there is a lot of sympathy for tamil refugees in Tamil Naidu. (Which also explains their ubiquitous presence) So the question is
“Will the Sri Lankan refugees ever return back to their mainland?”
“What will the government of India do?”

A friend of mine was a victim of online credit card. Someone used his credit card information to purchase airline tickets online.

This is the advice I gave him.
1. Call the Credit Card Company and block the Credit Card: After verification this process should take 30 seconds and no credit card company can legally ask you questions or try to sway your mind.
2. Then ask them to email/courier you the Credit Card Fraud Form and try to gather as much information as possible about that transaction. (There was one case in which on my ad-on card, my brother made a transaction that he had no recollection of. Hence querying of such details can prevent any such embarrassment)
3. Many good credit cards have a in build fraud protection insurance/scheme. Check the website/documents of any such scheme.
4. Check with the merchant. Usually they help willingly. However if they show reluctance, threaten then with a Credit Card Dispute.
According to investopeida
” This law allows consumers to withhold payment on poor-quality, damaged merchandise or incorrectly billed items they bought with a credit card until the matter is resolved. “
Basically any merchant understands that once a dispute is called, he would have to spend a lot of time in documentation and legal hassles. Whats worse is that the Credit Card Company will charge the merchant for all the processes at its end and might even blacklist the merchant.
There is often a chance that the merchandise was not shipped, or the travel not made. In those cases timely action limits the damage caused and might also help in nabbing the culprit.
5. Deduct the wrong transaction and Clear all the remaining credit card outstanding, billed and unbilled. This demonstrates the genuineness of your intention and helps to sway the authorities to give a ruling in your favor.

At Xkcd.com I saw this wonderful cartoon that basically highlights the fact that irrespective of what you choose, the grass is greener on the other side

Company expense account is like a blank cheque. If your job responsibilities involve traveling and client interaction, then one can ideally charge almost anything under this account. I have known a few of my friends in sales and marketing who practically live off the expense account.

Almost everyone pays for hotels stay, fancy restaurants, taxis and designer gifts from the expense account. However the problem comes when:
1. We over spend because we are not paying
2. We inflate the bills and expenses
3. Sometimes people even create fake bills. I have known so many people who can get fictitious bills for fuel or medicines from the nearby shop.

What we fail to realize is that just because the expense was approved, does not mean that your misdemeanor went un-noticed. Everyone knows how much a taxi ride from the airport to the hotel costs. So just because one has the receipt, does not mean no one will be suspicious.

Whats worse is that these days data is being stored for eternity and can be retrieved in a jiffy. Back stabbing and office politics has gone so competitive that if someone wants to check the honesty and integrity of an employee, the expense account is the place where they start. Few of the British MP recently woke up to this embarrassing surprise recently.

Just because its allowed, does not mean it is permitted. Spend the corporate money like the way you would spend yours and things will be OK.

I might fancy Swiss chocolates, but Swiss factories will not accept INR. I need to pay them in Swiss Francs.

Currency prices fluctuate every second. So I would not like to trade in Swiss Francs, not the Swiss trader in INR. Hence the need of International Currency like Euro/USD. Both Parties agree that the International Currency will have the same purchasing power tomorrow as it has today. Hence it can be used as a reference.

In the previous post, we had discussed the rise and fall of the various international currencies over the past 2500 years of coinage. But why do one need a currency?

My economist friends would quickly point out that money has 3 uses:
1. Medium of Exchange: It eliminates the transaction problem that usually occurs with Barter system. Your Soft Drink vendor might not fancy the idea of buying grain, but he will surely accept coins.

2. Unit of Account: Since all values and numbers would be converted to the local currency, Money allows people to record and measure their financial data and allows easy comparison.

3. Storage Value of money:
Grain, meat and produce is perishable. However coins are not. Ideally speaking I could store money for eternity and it won’t diminish in value (lets forget inflation for the time being) This fact also facilitates in loaning money and raising capital.

If these are the only purposes of money, then a blanket Universal Currency makes sense. After all:
As we saw in the swiss chocolate case, the more universally accepted is the currency, easier will it be to do trade. Also the easier it is to trade, the more variety and cheaper would be the prices of goods and services. Then why is it that in spite of 2500 years of using money, why there has been no lasting attempt to make an international currency?

To understand money, we have to understand why coins were minted and currency issued. Currency have always been a means for a strong state to leverage on its economic and military strength and raise money.
A coin always had some part of Copper (or other cheaper metal) Yet the value of the coin was historically always equal to its weight in silver/gold. So in effect the more coins a state would mint, the richer it will become. However to do so, the state had to ensure that the world accepts its currency at face value and not the intrinsic value (value of the metal)

Sooner the USA and later the whole world realized that they can issue Fiat Money. Hence now if GoI issues a 1000/- bill, it basically creates a 1000/- for itself out of thin air. But like it Zimbabwe if the government fails, the local currency is rendered worth the paper it is printed on. Now this ability of a government to raise money to fund its deficit is too tempting to resist.
Suppose like in EU, we are able to convince government to be thrifty (easier said and done), the question that still remains is redistribution of the new currency that is printed. Look at the opposition that some of the EU members have against inclusion of Turkey in the alliance.

Ideally speaking every country allocates a larger part of its budget for development of backward regions. However if you start doing this on a global scale, then the rich states object. They feel that their wealth is appropriated by the state and squandered away.

This problem will not go away until the world truly thinks itself as a part of a global village. Euro, in spite of all the hiccups, could achieve that. So there is no reason why the rest of the world could not. However in the decade to come, this looks a bit tricky matter.

Today USD is considered as an international currency. However this was not always the case.

Older International currency
1. Denarius (silver coins issued by the Roman Empire) First stuck in 211 BC was in trade till 275 AD. The coin weighed 4.5 gms in silver. The legions of Rome provide stability and its widespread empire provided liquidity/acceptability to these coins. Its influence went beyond the borders of the Roman Empire and even today many Islamic country use the word Dinar for their currency.

2. Ducat: it weighed about 3.5gms of gold and was issued by Venice in 1140 AD. Till the time Venice was the center of trade, Ducat remained the measure of gold and wealth. Even in Merchant of Venice (Shakespeare), the loan was given in Ducats. Mediterranean has always been the center of exchange of goods between Asia, Africa and Europe. Since Venetian Galleys ruled the water there the currency was widely accepted.

3. Soon after the discovery of the New Worlds and the Passage to Asia via Cape of Good Hope Italy’s influence in the world trade declined. The center of international trade and finance shifted to Spain and then Finally to England (because of its widespread colonies). Pound Sterling hence became the currency of choice. All other currency were pegged against Gold or this currency.

4. Dollar: Dollar’s rise to supremacy was not smooth. Early dollars were issued by the merchant bank (and not the US Government) Hence it was not uncommon for an individual owning 10-15 different issues of dollars each valid in different states. Even after the Civil War when US government started issuing dollar, the currency initially failed. Till 1932 there were 2 dollar the Green paper (fiat money) and the Gold Coin. The exchange price of the two were determined on the basis of gold prices. It was only after the World War 1, when the European government owed US huge sums of money that Dollar Supremacy was established. The Fact that Fort Knox had at one time almost half the known bullion in the world further strengthened US Dollar’s position as the international currency of choice.

These days I worry a lot about my receding hairline.. and unfortunately there is not much that i can do about it.

However this post by Scott Adams of Dilbert really made my day. He asserts that as long as a person is fit and dresses well, nobody will pay attention to his baldness. More people concentrate on the positives of the person, the things that makes them stand out… than on petty things on which one has no control

Another set of email forwards

Teacher: Translate – Bazaar mein goliyan chal rahi hain. (A gunfight is happening in the market)
Santa: The Tablets are walking in the market.

Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!!

Driver: Sir ji, petrol khatam ho gaya , gaadi aage nahi ja sakti.
Banta:-Chalo Phir, wapis le chalo.

Santa: Wo dekh teri biwi ko saanp kaat raha hai.
Banta: Are tension mat le, saap Jeher bharwane aya hoga…

Banta: Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta.
Santa: Phir tune kya kiya?
Banta: Maine kaha salon ek-ek karke aao.
Santa: Phir?
Banta: Phir kya, Salon ne ek-ek karke dubara Peeta !

Pappu: Ajj madam ne 1 swaal puchhya jisda jawab sirf mainu hi pata si.
Santa: Mera biba beta, ki swaal si?
Pappu: Swaal si k blackboard kol susu kine kita hai?

In India, the Housing boom came and went by. The retail boom came and cooled down. Yet the way furniture retail operates has changed only a little. The only perceivable changes are
1. Modular Plastic furniture
2. Imported furniture, use of newer materials like wrought iron etc to make designer furniture.

However the real change that I am seeking is redefining the way in which the whole industry is organized. The problem is that in India there are 2 options for the people
1. Hire a carpenter:
a. He if unprofessional. i.e. never sticks to the schedule, if hired on a daily basis would loaf around a lot, if hired on piece meal basis would often rush the job producing shoddy work. They also often tend to supplement their income by charging commission to the retailers and a lot of supplies are wasted (hence inflating the bill of materials)
b. Since the work would be done in the backyard or a temporary shed, a lot of productivity that can be brought because of mechanization and proper tools and fixtures is lost. There is no economies of scale.
c. A carpenter has to do all the tasks hence there is no room for higher quality because of specialization.
d. Furniture now is not confined to A good design demands not only good workmanship, but also different materials and latest styles. Beautiful pieces of art is often not the specialty of unorganized carpenters.
e. You cannot commission a carpenter for a small stool. It has to be a significant assignment involving atleast a week of labor for him to be interested.

2. Do it yourself.
Thanks to the cheep labor available its not a popular option. I have not known many people who can do more than basic repairing and installation/assembly.

3. Retail Shops.
World over most people buy modular furniture from companies like Ikea etc. because its cheap and affordable. The workmanship is good, and the furniture is designed in a way that eases packaging, transportation and assembly. This not only saves cost, but increases the usability.

However most Indian stores don’t have economies of scale. They operate like boutique stores. i.e.
1. High inventory
2. High markup/price
3. Smaller revenues

Whats even more starling is that modular furniture, ready made items costs 2-3 times more than their customized counterparts.

There has to be a way that can resolve these inefficiencies and pass on the benefit to the common man. Afterall spending 1Lakh in furnishing and woodwork even for the most modest of the homes is not uncommon.

What do you think of these words:
Karl-Theodor Maria Nikolaus Johann Jacob Philipp Franz Joseph Sylvester Freiherr von und zu Guttenberg
Well its not a name of the members attending a summit, but the name of 1 single person “Germany’s new economic minister”

I think he can beat all South Indians, hands down, when it comes to length of the name.

- Thanks to Satya for pointing this interesting info to me.

A friend of mine today reminded of this interesting theory

In India, most of the good girls find their match while they are still in their High School.
Of those who remain, many of them take advantage of the increased freedom that the hostel life offers.
Still eligible ones go for the arranged marriage immediately after their graduation.
The unlucky few who survive fall prey within the first year of hitting the job market.
So finally what is left is Butter Milk….
i.e. although the name suggest presence of Butter, it has everything but butter.

This week’s economist had published this list of world’s more reputable companies.
I was surprised to see that inspite of all my claims of being aware of the world, etc etc, I knew the existence of only 9-10 companies in the list. I have seen no advertisements, nor have ever used any product marketed by a majority of them.

To see how other people react, I showed this survey around and asked people what they find most startling about this survey
1. A majority of them felt happy that Tata (thanks to Nano, Chorus etc) is in the list.
2. A few questioned the relevance of putting a Chocolate Manufacturer and a furniture retailer in the list.
3. What surprised me is that even though almost all of them were not aware of many of the companies in the list, they were nor surprised of this fact.

Are we Indians so ignorant (and worse accept our ignorance) that the fact that we are not even aware of the presence of these reputable companies?

A rabbit is in a circular pond and on its edge stands a hunter who wants to catch it.

The hunter can move across the circumference of the pond at 4 times the speed at which the rabbit can swim. However the hunter cannot enter the pond and if the rabbit swims to the surface without the hunter being close by, then the rabbit escapes.

Can the rabbit outwit the hunter and escape?

This was sent around from Thomas Cook Holidays – listing some of the guests
complaints during the season. ” Some people should not be allowed to go on
holiday!!!!!”

“It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I
often needed to buy things during ’siesta’ time – this should be banned.”

“On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost
every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”

“We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to
bring our swimming costumes and towels.”

A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been
locked in by staff. When in fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb”
sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

“The beach was too sandy.”

“We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your
brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”

“Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was
ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”

“We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five Euros (£3.50) from a street
trader, only to find out they were fake.”

“No-one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were
startled.”

“It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England it only
took the Americans three hours to get home.”

“I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’
three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.”

The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation’.
We’re trainee hairdressers – will we be OK staying here?”

“There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish.
The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners.”

“My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a
double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find
myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room
that we booked.”

During my recent visit to Aurangabdad District, I was amazed by the novelty of the traditional method of sugarcane extraction. I had earlier seen a similar process used to extract oil… but still i could not admire it being used to crush sugarcane

From an email forward:

I’m not racist, racism is a crime, and crime is for black people

If you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson’s No More Tears, would it create beautiful irony?

God: An invisible friend for adults
A religious war is like children fighting over who has the strongest imaginary friend

You shouldn’t say anything mean about people who can’t read. You should write it instead.

Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.

He didn’t know if it was a gun in her pocket or she was just pleased to see him, but neither option looked good.

Anyone can quit smoking, it takes a real man to fight cancer

Tennis is a fickle sport. No matter how good you are at it, a wall will always be better.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, whern you insult him, you’ll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

The noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it.

I still miss my ex-girlfriend… but my aim is improving

coffee just isn’t my cup of tea

Duct tape is like ‘the force, it has a dark side, a light side and it holds the universe together

Cancel my subscription caused I’m over your issues!

It appears the location of my fist and your head are not mutually exclusive! It is a probability miracle!

I got cold hard cash for Christmas. Five bucks frozen in a block of ice.

Faith may move mountains but it was the whip that built the pyramids.

I used to think I was indecisive but now I’m not so sure.

You can’t have “manslaughter” without “laughter”

NEW BRIDGE HELD UP BY RED TAPE

If vegetarians eat only vegetables, what about humanitarians?

From an email forward:
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to
express Praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium.
She said, ‘I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.’
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.
‘Tom was unable to hold me or the children,’ she went on, ‘and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.’
Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.
‘Now,’ she announced in a quavering voice, ‘thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.’
All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, ‘I’m Tom.’
The entire congregation held its breath.
‘I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.’

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong buttons.

TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated.

HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.

SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGES: Female, because they’re constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.

TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.

EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they’ve hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.

THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: it easily gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying.