New store

Two businessmen were taking a break while setting up their soon-to-open store’s shelving units. There they sat, in the middle of nothing but empty shelves. One said, “I bet any minute now some smart aleck will stick his head in the door and ask what we’re selling.”
Within minutes, a man did just that, “Hey, boys. Whacha sellin’?”
One businessmen responded sarcastically, “We’re selling a$$holes.”
Without missing a beat, he rejoined, “Looks like business is good; ya only got two left!”

A Sindhi calls up the Times of India office and wants to place an Obituary for his dead grandfather … the conversation went as below:

Sindhi: How much does it cost to print an Obituary in Sunday edition of the Times of India?
Help Desk (TOI): Sir, we charge Rupees 50 per word.
Sindhi: (Thinking)… Hmmm… Wari likho ni… “DADA DEAD”.
Help Desk (TOI): Sir, you have to give a minimum of five words.
Sindhi: (Thinking harder)… Hmmm… Wari sochne do… hmmm likho ni… “DADA DEAD, HONDA FOR SALE”.

How do they make holy water?
They boil the hell out of it.