How strict is too strict

A couple of times I have seen a girl walks into a disco in really modest clothes (at one time in a traditional muslim burqha) and completely change their dress in the ladies room. I have seen so many people lying to the parents about their wareabouts (esp. when you are in a late night party) is so common that I have even lost the count. I also know a couple of Indian boys and girls who are in a relationship for several years while their parents have no idea whom they are living with. On one occasion a girl even married and the parents came to know about it 2 years later.

However the question remains how much freedom should the parents give their children and what amount of say they should have in determining their path in life?

Should we follow the western philosophy that the kids are emancipated once they hit the teens and severe all tied with their parents? They take their own decisions and are not afraid that their parents might disapprove of it.

On the other hand in several families the kids are expected to seek their parents’ approval and even permission for every action they take. Sometimes this umbilical cord stays even after the kid has a family of his own and is financially independent.

I guess there are merits in both schools of thought and the best way is somewhere in the middle of the two extremes. The reason why I am beginning to ask this question is that often I see that the children do what they want to do irrespective of the freedom offered to them or the desires/wishes of their parents.

However by being too strict, a parent might stifle the kid and hence prompt it to hide their feelings, apprehensions and troubles. If the kid indulges in the risky behavior and hides it, is it a fault of the parent of the kid? I am not sure and hence this post.

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7 thoughts on “How strict is too strict

  1. As u said it is somewhere in between …
    better if one can instill in their child a sense of judgment for good and bad or right or wrong or something along those lines.
    It all depends on the maturity level of parents more than kids!
    what say u ?

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  2. I think the parents. If there is an open communications between the parents and the kids, I think the kids would think twice before doing anything that would upset their parents.

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  3. Will completely agree with xylene and prax. Just to add to the point, if you have seen the movie “Thank you for smoking”, the protagonist makes an excellent point at the film’s climax of instilling the sense of judgement in kids. The best part then comes up – When asked what he would do if despite all teachings, his kid wanted to smoke when he was 18, he replied that in that case, he would buy him his first pack.
    I guess if you watch atleast that part of the movie, it will help clearing this issue a lot.

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  4. Spare the rod and spoil the child is the mantra till a certain age. Once a child starts taking responsibility, it is time to lay off. The role of parents then is just to give enough exposure and education to the child so that she can make an informed choice.As parents ,you must keep an eye,not suspicious, but a watchful one on the children,as they can easily get misled or carried away at an impressionable age.Personally I feel that the parents are always in a better position to decide for you at any age as their vision is not colored by passion,but the caveat is that they should be in tune with the times.Remember the Bard…”Oh God what eyes has love put in my head that have no correspondence with true sight, Or if they have then where is the judgement fled…..”.So Guys and Gals, trust your parents,as they not only know you more than you know yourself,they also have your best interests at heart.

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