Truths for Mature Humans

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear out your computer’s history when you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize that you are wrong

3. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

4. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone and pinning the tail on the Donkey. But I would bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

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