1987 movie “Moonstruck” had an odd question being asked repeatedly “Why do men chase more than one woman?”
I thought the winning answer would be: “Deep down all men are little boys who like to be bad.” They are never satisfied by one and wanted the whole herd for themselves. No wonder the motto of many whatsapp studs are “Text her to dates and into bed.” All they need is a girl’s phone number. They will carefully and scientifically share jokes, funny pictures in a hope of a response. The second they get a smiley, lol or any response back, they will take it to the next level… then next and then next… faster than any exponential graph.
Some even try to hide behind religion, history, science and biology. They say monogamy & marriage is an aberration, a selfish parish ritual to treat women like chattel. Well either you believe in this and shun marriage/committed relationship or you should brand yourself a liar and a cheat. Let us not try to use logic, morals into getting a free pass to cheat and sow one’s wild oats.
The director’s response was “Because they fear death.” It had nothing to do with “As time passes we tend to feel unappreciated and taken for granted by our spouse.” It is not liked with strained relationship in the bedroom. It has more to do with mortality and some twisted logic which makes the men believe that they are young if they are in company of young women.
Not every man who cheats is looking for sex. Many of them just like the thrill of wooing/courtship. Just sharing a few lighter moments with someone helps them feel alive and rekindle the missing joy in life. Some people use chatrooms for anonymous therapy. Allows them to share their deepest thoughts, fantasy and desires without the threat of revealing ones identity. Purist are still debating if this amounts to adultery or not, but some people feel closer to their chatfriends that anybody else in real life.
Some people on the other-hand like to post their pictures online, put cool raunchy tags just to get attention. Not only will they depict themselves cooler & happier than what they really are. Editing pictures to show that they are slimmer, with fuller hair is not uncommon. Most do it on facebook, but some do it in dating sites (or in normal social media but ensure that their real-life friends and family are not connected).
I don’t know which one of the two rationales is right, but what I do know is that technology is making it dangerous as well as convenient at the same time. Video calls, smart phones, texts allow two people to have a conversation without the eavesdropper to be any wiser. It also makes a rendezvous easier to schedule in real time. However online identity can be easily tracked and incidents like Ashley Madison hack can ruin those who went astray.