Gay: Its a crime to love in India

This remark was made by a nature & history enthusiastic Thai friend who was disappointed by waves of Indian tourists who treat his country as caligula’s orgy.

“A Thai kid is always told what to do and what not to do. As a result the second they are away from the strict parental supervision, they go on a rampage. Adult Indian are no different. You Indians live a shackled live trying to conform to others expectation. You would marry strangers because your parents want it so, give up art, music & hobbies because your teacher demanded so, buy fancy houses that you cannot afford because your friend did so. When do you get time to live a moment for yourself? Slogging in the office and binge drinking is only because you actively hunt for distractions and forget what mess you have created for yourselves. When you are on the verge of a breakdown, you would catch a solo flight to Thailand and straight away head for a strip club. Why? Because here, nobody is watching.”

Read this account of Indian travelers to Tashkent which also highlights the similar unrestrained sexual indulgence of Indians away from Home. Even Indian women outside change their attire the moment they board the plane. I actually saw a woman changing from Burqua (head to toe black covering) to skirt in the flight to Singapore. It is not uncommon in Mauritius to spot a newly wed Indian woman sporting Chuda (15-30 red, white & silvery bangles), sindoor and a bikini (and one person actually swears she cannot even think of wearing the same outfit in India).

Gay support: To not to be able to love the one you love is to have your life wrenched away. - Vikram Sethi

Vikram Sethi supporting Gays in India and against section 377 IPC

Same sex or opposite sex, its a crime to love in India. Buckling under the conformity to the unwritten social laws many love birds part ways to end up in loveless relationships. Honestly I don’t care what the law says, in India breaking laws is a symbol of power, prestige and influence. What I care about is why are Indians so unhappy? If we spend all our lives pleasing strangers, when we will have time for ourselves?

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The Gay Purse Theorem

I didn’t make any publications, appeared in journals etc. during my academic years but I did come up with some theorems. Not the kind which will be a part of a hypothesis, and certainly not a part of any curriculum, but the kind you come up with when the combination of sleep depravedness and a little too much scotch hits your brain. Well, I am presenting the first of them – the gay purse theorem.

It so happened that one of my close friends and I were out shopping for his significant other as a welcome-to-Lucknow gift. It was her first visit to the city, and my friend wanted to be a gentleman for a change. He didn’t want to go alone for the shopping, so he asked me to tag along. Being the cheap bastard I have always been, I agreed to go only after he promised to get me a couple of drinks at the nearby pub. Now all said and done, when a guy shops for clothes or accessories, the only thing which stops him from selecting an item is the fact that it did not fit him. Not so much for gals. So when we arrived at the ladies section of a big, posh, departmental chain store, the realization hit us. No matter what we would pick, it wouldn’t be up-to-the-mark in her eyes. We would definitely score ‘A’ for effort, but the end result would be zero. So we decided to retire to the aforementioned pub and think. Of course, we had a moment of clarity about an hour later, so we went back to the store with our new theorem.

So, what our theorem states is this – In order to see what accessory suits your better half, you try it on yourself (hopefully, not in public eyes). The gayer you look with it, the better she will look in it. Your friend cannot try it for you because she is with you, not with him. Armed with this new revelation, we went forward and tried its practical application. As my friend tried on one purse after another, I gave him the necessary comments – “Gay…Very gay…ehh, not so gay…wow that is gay…ok gay.”

Turns out that the theorem was correct. My friend later reported me with its success. Sure beats getting published in a journal any day!!