The First Time

Laughed real hard at this e-mail forward –

I recall my first time with a condom. I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the local pharmacy. In those days it took a lot of guts to go in a store and ask for that kind of item because everyone in town knew me and there was no doubt the beautiful young lady behind the counter (I think her name was Delores) knew what they were for.

She could see that I was really embarrassed by the whole procedure. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.

I honestly answered, “No, this is my first time.”

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure.

I apparently still looked confused. She looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was. “Just a minute,” she said, walked to the door and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.

“Do these excite you?” she asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was stand there with my mouth open and nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on.

As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. “Well, come on,” she said, “We don’t have much time.”

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and, KAPOW, I was done within a few moments.

She looked at me with a bit of a frown. “Did you put that condom on?” she asked.

I said, “I sure did,” and held up my thumb to show her.

Then she beat the shit out of me. Women have always been hard for me to figure out!

Insurance cover and inflation

Recently I had an interesting discussion with a colleague of mine.

His stance was: As time passes you need higher insurance cover.

While my stance was: As time passes you need lesser insurance cover.

Even after a lot of brainstorming and even exchanging excel files, we both think we are right. Hence I decided to publish the gist of the debate.

My logic: Your ideal insurance cover is the net present value of the all the expenses your family (sans you) would incur in the foreseen future. (Say next 70 years) One should deduct the wealth one already owns/would inherit and the future income from your spouse’s occupation/business. By this logic, every extra year you live and provide for the family this value would decrease (because now only the next 69 years have to be accounted for). Also you would save some capital and build some assets for the rainy day which would again reduce the value of the cover required.

So effectively one would require a very high insurance cover at the beginning of family life which would taper down gradually to zero by the retirement year.

His stance: Lifestyle is downward sticky. As your income and wealth grows, so does one’s standard of living. A refrigerator might be a luxury for the middle class 20 years ago, but now a bare necessity. So the luxuries and habits of individuals tend to move up as time elapses and it is very hard for someone to go back to the age old Spartan days.

This compounded by inflation results in rupee losing nine tenth of its value every 20 years results in one needing to increase the insurance cover each year. Simply said there is never enough of money and people would even find ways to spend kuber ka khajana (with a sly reference to the recent treasure found in a Kerela temple)